Through the Eyes of Simple Faith

Answers

2011-01-16T18:26:00.000-06:00

Has your "boy" ever been down and out?

Mine has. Too many times, to be exact!!

To clarify "boy" - - mine is brown, white and furry. (One of them, anyways. ;-)

I spent the past several weeks heart-aching over little Chufa and his latest discomfort. Our pets are members of the family and when mine are hurting or uncomfortable or sick or just "not right", neither am I.

I finally got some answers, yesterday, after weeks without sleep - watching this sweet boy pace incessantly, day and night.

A blasted kidney infection and a double ear infection.

Mercy.

I felt sooooo terrible when the vet gave me her diagnosis. Thinking that that infection could have been brewing for weeks and then finally manifested itself bringing that kind of pain....brutal. We'd been troubleshooting for days on end! How could this have been when we'd run tests last week and nothing conclusive came back to indicate something that serious? At the same time that I felt a sense of guilt for what he had to go through, I jumped for joy, inside - because, once again - God had answered my cries for help.

I'm not kidding when I say that walking through seasons of discomfort, challenge or health issues with my dogs are trying and agonizing. It is so difficult to watch people we love or animals that we love suffer when there doesn't seem to be one blessed thing that we can do to help offer or bring relief. Over the past several weeks, I've seen the vet, made countless calls to the vet, administered dozens of homeopathic remedies, mild medications and spent what seems like my next 10 years worth of vacation dollars to try and figure out what's going on with him. Sound familiar? Well, we do what we do! As a loving pet owner, I feel a great sense of responsibility to do what I can to help my dogs when they're not right or well. Sometimes, it poses quite the challenge. And the most promising thing that I can do during these times, above any of the things I've mentioned - is to pray.

I've seen God's hand, yet again, in providing answers and relief for me when I am faced with such things that are far beyond my human control. He is such a faithful God. He is so merciful and loving in His ways and He continues to provide for me and for Chufa and Rio in countless ways. I know that God wants to be part of every minute detail of our lives. I so often forget that in what seem like the smaller details of daily living - God begs for us to invite him IN. I found myself crying out to Him from the depths of my heart on behalf of my pupster who was so very uncomfortable. I prayed for wisdom, for patience, for relief - that somehow God would open up the way to answers and resolution and lead us to what the root of his problems were.

He answered. Friday evening I was able to get a Sat. AM appointment at the vet when they already had a full schedule. Despite the direction to watch him and take him to the emergency vet if necessary (which, of course, is always three-times the cost of the regular vet) the sweet receptionist pushed to get us an appt. after hearing what we were dealing with. All GOD!

Then, after yet another sleepless night (I felt like I'd stopped counting in my mental exhaustion) on Friday I found myself praying in the wee hours of the morning, asking the Lord to please hear my cries and help Chufa to rest and stop his pacing. I got up and put on my robe and I felt the Holy Spirit weighing on my heart and to offer clarity. I'd been so tired all week, so worn down by the complete lack of resolution despite all of the solutions offered. I was at the end of my mental rope - my body begging for sleep, my emotions teetering, my resolve weakening. My hope, less than vibrant. I felt the Spirit's gentle leading - bringing me some peace in the early hour. Like I was able to gain an understanding for many that are up in the early hours of the morning or through the night for countless reasons. A baby crying or needing a night-time feeding. A sick family member - or pet. People battling sickness themselves. Those battling insomnia, depression, stress. I felt like the Holy Spirit was reminding me to make the best of a difficult situation, again. To use the time to draw very near to Him and to relinquish all of my fears, my frustrations, my heartache.

I turned on a few dim lights, lit the Christmas tree so that its beauty would bathe me in some comfort as it always does. I made coffee and took the time to take in the smell that only coffee can bring to a room. I grabbed my Bible and my Kindle and I got back in bed and read through the Psalms. As always, it brought my heart great comfort and reminded me of the Lord's great love for us. His divine presence and desire to deliver us - - - from all things! I knew that this vet appointment was a door opened, and so I patiently waited through the morning, in spite of Chufa's continue restlessness. My heart was peaceful.

We got ready and landed at the vet's door @8:40. As usual, Chufa had already gone to the bathroom before we left for the vet. So, it was another absolute divine miracle that the vet decided she needed to check his urine after his exam and he actually offered her a sample! When they took him back, I thought to myself - oh, if he'd only not gone just a bit ago. I almost fell on the floor when they brought him back 2 minutes later - rejoicing that he'd complied! Those test results were key. And God knew it!

We headed home with antibiotics in tow and I grinned ear to ear, my heart overflowing with thanks and praise to God. I just can't describe that kind of relief. When you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has had His gracious hand upon you every step of the way and has brought you a real blessing.

Chufa is slowly improving and more than anything, is resting so much more comfortably. Praise God! After watching him literally pace, or "creep" around the house hours on end - looking so racked with pain - I can't rejoice more. All these sweet little guys DO is love us. So it brings my heart great joy to go to the same lengths to see him through, the best I can.

Last night, as I cozied up in my new pink fleece pj's in my lounge chair with candles lit, the tree glowing, again, and the music peacefully filling my heart and home with tranquility - I sensed a new calm. Something we've not experienced for weeks. Chufa came up to my chair and put his jowel on my knee. I sensed he wanted to get up on the chair so I gingerly lifted him up with me. He sat for a quick minute, then licked both of my cheeks and nestled right down on me with his head up in my neck. It was truly as if he wanted to say, "Mama, thank you. Thank you for doing everything you could to figure it all out and for helping me to start feeling better. I know you love me so much. You take such great care of me and I know how much I mean to you. I love you, too." He slept on me for an hour. I couldn't think of a better gift at the moment.

My "boys" are total love boys. They are gentle and spunky and filled with life and personality galore. I imagine most pet-owners can say the same about their beloved, furry one's. It's a good thing. I sense God's sovereignty, even in that relationship. Pets are blessings, not curses. They are part of creation and He watches over them just as he watches over the birds in the sky. I am grateful.

Today a "mama's" heart stands in awe knowing a loving God answered, once again... when she called.

Noel

2011-01-04T19:49:00.000-06:00

I have no words for this year's Christmas.

As I stepped into this holy season with new love by my side, I experienced even greater love, cherished new memories and an opportunity to look at all that Christ has done in my life in 2010. His wonders never cease. His will is not confined within space that man can specify. His sovereignty amazes me. His righteousness blesses me. His grace overwhelms me.

His mercies are new - - every day.

My beautiful sister-in-law gave me a Christmas CD with one of my favorite songs of Francesca Battistelli's. "You're Here" is sung as if from Mary's heart. I love it. I listened to it repeatedly during the weeks leading up to Christmas, this year, and it touches my heart. Thank you, sweet girl! I cherish music because of the way it touches my very soul...

How I look forward to 2011...embracing all of the Lord's promises and anticipating opportunities and celebrations anew...

"For I know the plans I have for you.", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Bless Your Name Forevermore - The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir

2010-09-14T20:29:00.000-05:00

Our fall BSF class started up, again, last night. It's an 8-year inter-denominational study that I have been a part of for six years, already. I can't believe that the time has gone by so very quickly. When I began, I was so overwhelmed. It was so much homework and my convictions ran deep - but God has blessed me with so many things through my willingness to return and participate each year.

He has given me such amazing girlfriends whom I cherish so deeply. He continues to instill in my heart a love for spiritual discipline and study and a heart for His truth.

Last night was like an incredible reunion. It always is....but last night was especially beautiful. Graduates of the class are returning, this year, for the new study of Isaiah. It was recently added as the eighth year. So, I have dear friends in class, again, who have been gone for years. As I ushered and watched all of the women come into the sanctuary, I was reminded of how incredibly merciful and gracious our God truly is, indeed. These women set aside their busy schedules, their nightly routines and the cares of this world to come together and spend two hours every Monday evening from September until May to bask in God's Word. To draw near to the Living God. To fellowship with other women and to seek new friendships, serve Him with their gifts, share their inner light with those around them.

I am humbled - just like I am every year. For the beauty of His creation and for the precious treasure of His Son and His Word. As I begin a new routine and a new discipline of study this fall I feel a tremendous longing in my heart to know Him more. I feel His presence, once again, in a more special way than at other times. I remember that most of all, my heart longs for Him alone. It longs to love Him. It longs to know Him. I long to become more like His Son, and once again - all of the burdens of this world, the cares of the day - seem to fade into perfect priority.....these things are not the things of heaven. They are temporary, fleeting.

Once again, I feel a new peace in my heart as we embark on the study of this prophet - Isaiah, and how God sent him to convict and to comfort a nation. As our lecture leader was reminding us last night - oh, how our times, today, remind us of the times of Isaiah. A nation divided. A nation in moral decay, far too caught up in the pursuit of pleasure and of affluence.....will we stand or will we fall?

I listened to this song on You Tube of the Brooklyn Tab singing and my heart melted into it's usual oblivion. Music speaks to my soul - to the depths, like nothing else. And I find my focus on Jesus as I listen to the words and to the beautiful voice singing........

What an honor it is to study and to be able to have God's Word to guide us, to show us how to live and to provide us with His truth......

Here's to a new year full of opportunity to grow even closer to Him......I Bless His Name.

Birthday Fair 2010

2010-09-06T15:43:00.000-05:00

Nearly every year I say the same thing, come August. "I can't believe it's State Fair time, already!!!'
It always comes sooo quickly, it seems! This year was no different - I said it out loud to myself as I awoke to my alarm on an incredibly beeaaautiful Fair day.

It's always "Birthday Fair" for Kirstin and it was well worth getting out of bed early for!

We could not have asked for a better day - breezy, cool, sunny - near perfect. I think everyone had a fabulous time, so I'll keep my words brief and just share photos of a day well spent - couldn't think of a better group of people to share it with. xo


Classic. LOL.


FPJ.....Marine wanna-be??


Me and "Pants" - hand-in-hand! xo


Ooooooh! The QUILTS!!

Genius!


Reubens @O'Gara's Garage!

It's a mutual love........

"....Sigh...! Can ya tell? Pants and Heavy on the Mister"

Baby Goats...!!!! My favorite.

No comment.....


Roosters. And LOTS of 'em!

Horses.......

Braids....

A new definition of "Hog Heaven"???

BRO'S!

CRRRAAAAZY FUN!

Annie on the Octopus...

Annie -n- Dad makin faces...

The Birthday Girl! "Oink".

LOL. Annie's view on top of Heavy on the Mister's shoulders.

Ugh......

Sweetest FPJ. xo

Hi Pretty!!!!

That's a cool lookin P-I-G!

Me and the Pants!

"....sigh...."

GO Emmer!

Flowers....

...'n CARS.

Doesn't get much better......

Goats, goats 'n more goats....

Zorro?????


love.

Great Day for a Pool Date!

2010-08-15T20:38:00.000-05:00

Meet "Sugar".

She'd just hopped out of the pool to dry off a bit and run to the 'ol CANTEEN to grab some more of her namesake. Yes. That would be......sugar. Hilarious. Thoroughly enjoyed the day of fellowship at the T&C pool with my dear friend and one of my very favorite girls, above. Sometimes, a spontaneous day of girly leisure ~ warmed by the the sun and cooled by the tranquility of the water is healing. And healing it was.

Thanks Buds ~ for the "Bain de Soleil", the talk and the time. God is good. ALL the time.

....until NEXT time. xoxo

Paradise

2010-07-31T22:40:00.001-05:00

Can you say......."Well, Helllllllleeeeeaaaaauuuu, there??!!!"Yup. This is it. French Polynesian Island.....one very beautiful one in particular (not like they're not all pretty beautiful).

7 words: My bags are packed. Book the flight.

What an incredible slice of serious paradise. All I can say is..."I can't wait!"

Thinking About Stuff

2010-07-25T16:44:00.003-05:00

....just a post that touched my heart from Beth Moore's LPM Blog site, today. I share it pondering all of the beautiful women God has placed in my life whom I cherish as dear, godly friends and sisters-in-Christ.

In addition, as I process what Beth so beautifully shared about her evening-out to celebrate a special birthday with her husband and friends - her words so deliberately opened up my mind's eye...to remind me, again,of the precious gift and best friend that I have in you, FPJ. What a breathtaking concept... to anticipate sharing the years to come with hopes of sitting at a table and a setting, much like what Beth is describing now, looking back upon what

God's mercy and the love of Jesus has brought us both through and blessed us with. Simply exciting. Simply grace. ~and I can already see the twinkle in your eye and feel two hands interlocked beneath the table - as hose two hearts, filled with such thanksgiving, share an opportunity to celebrate what God is doing - again. And again. And again....knowing the precious price of such a far-reaching, spiritual gift through our experiences in the breadth and depth of life, humanity and its raw up's and down's.

May we all get to experience, together, the real and true opportunity to be Hebrews 10:24-25 friends.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching." ~Hebrews 10:4-25

Thinking About Stuff

326 Comments

July 22nd, 2010 Beth

Tags: Posted in Uncategorized

I just have a few minutes to climb on here before my staff (and BFF’s) and I head to lunch. I just got a text saying we’re going to Luby’s Cafeteria so I’m already thinking about what I’m going to get. You’ll be happy to know after a year of being unhealthy and underweight and in bad need of surgery, I am back to my normal size and feeling ten tons better. (I am still dealing with some physical pain but I think it’s my trust from God right now. You’ll never waste a prayer on me but that’s another story for another time.) Anyway, the only unfortunate part about being physically healthy again and back to my real weight is that I can’t really get chicken fried chicken for lunch anymore. Grin.

Last night my man and I had the neatest experience and it’s on my mind so I think I’ll share it. We were invited to the 30th birthday party of a young woman we’ve known all her life. Kay’s parents and Keith and I have been dear friends since our early 20′s. Many years ago we served together in our young marrieds’ Sunday School department. Kay’s Dad, Roger (one of the finest men I’ve ever known), taught the men’s class and I taught the women’s. Each set of couples had 2 daughters almost exactly the same age. They grew up together at the same church and have known each other all their lives. We have vacationed together a number of times as families and as couples and leaned on each other more times than I can count. During difficult seasons, we have wept together and in times of victory, celebrated like wild people. Our oldest daughters served in summer missions together and met and fell in love with two guys from Missouri who were best friends. They each married those guys and were in each other’s weddings only two weeks apart.

We got invited to Kay’s birthday party because Roger and Mary Ann (one of the finest women I know) would be the only other older couple there. The rest were all in their late 20′s or early 30′s. As we sat at that table with our life-long friends right beside us, I looked around at those young people and remembered just yesterday when it was us sitting in their positions. We had so much life ahead. So much joy. So much victory. So much defeat. (I’ll just apply that part to Keith and me) So much need. Life – and marriage, for Heaven’s sake – is flat-out HARD. But you really couldn’t tell it last night. It was a celebration and time to put our troubles aside and boast in the graciousness of our God. And we did.

I thought last night how much God used that band of married couples so many years ago to keep Keith and me together through hard times and how much sweeter they made the good times. Many of us from that original young marrieds’ group at our church are still friends today. All but two couples have stayed together (no condemnation to those who haven’t – the devil is relentless) and through many very difficult times. None of us are without scars. None of us are as full of ourselves or as sure of ourselves as we were back then. We’ve been broken over and over and sometimes to pieces but last night there we sat, telling some of those people our stories and hearing a few of them say,

“That’s pretty cool.”

The way God ordained it, we don’t just need our vertical relationship with Him to make it in life and marriage. We need one another. We need Hebrews 10:24-25 kind of people. We need folks around us to cheer us on and even to question us and hold us accountable. We need people who will not only pray for us but laugh with us and cry with us. Eat Mexican food with us. Live life with us! We need more than Facebook and blogs and tweets, as much as I enjoy them. We need real people and real face-to-face, life-to-life relationships. Last night when Kay’s husband, Jerrell, prayed over her before we sat down to the birthday feast, for some reason Mary Ann, Roger, Keith and I grabbed onto each other for dear life and hugged each other with all our might. We are still standing after the enemy has done you-can’t-imagine-what to try to destroy us. Not one of us would take an ounce of credit. Jesus. It’s all Jesus. He’s been so much better to us than He had to be. He did not let the devil bring the destruction he wanted.

It seems only yesterday we WERE those young couples. In the blink of an eye those young couples will be our age, having endured what they were sure they couldn’t and having celebrated more than they deserved.

God is so good.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…Therefore we do NOT lose heart.”

-2 Corinthians 4:7-8, 16.

Fancy Pants

2010-07-18T19:46:00.000-05:00

This weekend was exceptional. Material, in nature, maybe - but a breath of "fresh air" (LITERALLY!) and/or a "little slice of heaven" nonetheless.

My sweet friend, Budder, so graciously handed over her convertible beetle (5-speed, TURBO) to me for the weekend as she and "Sugar" were headed to the lake and the Mister was away on business.

I had fun. Ok......I had waaaaaay fun. "Fancy Pants" as this girly VW is so properly named - is a wicked fun time.

Now that she's back in her garage all clean (I nearly detailed her with a toothbrush yesterday in the 90 degree heat...) I am finding myself a bit tearful - knowing full well that I will have stick-shift envy for the next 2 months FOR SURE, and probably even moreso - TURBO envy for at LEAST a year (no guarantees it won't last longer than that). She goes fffffaaaaaassssssssttttTT! And do I ever LOVE IT. ;-) ("No, officer. I am NOT on my way to the emergency room. Just out for a Sunday drive!)

Truly, Budder's car was the greatest little gift this weekend. She made my Mom smile as we kicked it to Mr. Buble and Natalie Grant around Lake of the Isles on Friday night and Mr. "You-know-who" happy after a great dinner at a great pub up North Saturday evening as we waited out the Wizard of Oz-like windy storm that rolled through Maple Grove.

So - "Thanks, Fancy Pants" - for putting up with me testing your power ALL weekend long and for being such a good girl. Your sound system is like "butter" and your open roof to the skies ~ h e a v e n l y. Let me tell you - sometimes, it's "the little things".

Oh - forget THAT. It's more like.....always, it's the "little things".

...until we ride again.

...vroom vroooooooom!

Be Satisfied With Me

2010-07-06T10:19:00.000-05:00

..a treasured friend read this to me last Friday evening after we'd spent the night enjoying dinner together...and I nearly wept. The words ring so true to my heart and it is as if she was unequivocally speaking them from The Holy Spirit right into my soul.

It was written by St. Anthony of Padua and it speaks of our all-sufficiency in Christ and beautifully illustrates a remarkable example of love that the Lord holds in store for His children once we find that sufficiency in Him, alone.

Astounding as it is - the parallel is absolutely stunning to me. It so delightfully portrays the reality of the new direction in my life....and one that with each and every passing day overwhelms me with this hallowed, treasured love...a sweeter, more tender treasure and gift from His hand that I never saw coming. One that has left me utterly speechless and humbled before Him in complete awe. One that I know is indicative of a beautiful promise fulfilled....a multitude of prayers answered...just not in the way I expected. A perfect "surprise" from One Perfect God. A God of grace, mercy and infinite love. A God of redemption and a God who longs to give us the desires of our heart, when we align our will and our ways with His.

Today, my heart sings songs of praise - for He is so worthy. He is a faithful redeemer. He is the Lord of lords, the King of kings. The One and Only.

Be Satisfied With Me

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another--to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God, to the Christian says...

No - not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me; with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone; discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, and that you can imagine.

I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things; keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I promise and mean.

Be patient--that's all.

Don't be anxious.

Don't worry.

Don't look at the things others have gotten, or that I've given them.

Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love more wonderful than any you could dream of.

You see, until you're ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, (I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both exclusively satisfied with me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me--a perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer with myself.

Know that I love you utterly:

I am God.

~St. Anthony of Padua

Orphans of God by Avalon

2010-06-20T00:14:00.000-05:00

I Can't Live a Day without You - Avalon

2010-06-20T00:06:00.000-05:00

The Art-Lover in Me!!

2010-06-19T23:39:00.002-05:00

Okay. OKAY. Today..today was an amazing day. Today I paired up with Anti-Kristen to head off to the Stone Arch Art Festival in Minneapolis. Kristen's idea, of COURSE - and am I ever so happy that I quickly agreed and marked it down on the calendar.

After a full 8 hours of sleep (monumental after several weeks of massive deprivation) I lazily crawled out of bed to greet my sweet boyz with their morning tails-a-waggin and their energy levels already way too high for my "just got up" self. I love that, though. There are always morning licks and greetings and lots of belly rubs and "close talkin" with my Rio. They're "keepers", man. Gotta love it.

So, I let them outside and then, of course, remembered it was Saturday and that I had the entire morning to myself and my quiet time. All OVER that. Bed head, pajamas, bare feet, my Bible, my journal....and.....Mr. Starbucks. French roast and French Vanilla creamer. Unadulterated, uncomplicated.....in my new, beautiful glazed pottery mug with no handle that A.J. Mockenhaupt (brilliant upcoming potter at 17 yrs. old) threw on the wheel for me for my birthday gift. (Note to self: include photo on next blog site.) This mug is precious to me. An heirloom in the making, for sure. I headed to my comfy chair, coffee in hand, and just took in the beautiful, peaceful morning. A Saturday morning can not really get too much better than that for me. I admit - I'm just a simple girl. And it is a w e s o m e.

Ok. So, I finally connected with Kristen and we headed off to the show.

I have to say that once I had passed the second tent of art, something inside of me started to jump for JOY. I have not indulged my passion for art and artisans for quite some time. Soon I was back 20 years ago in my head - all the Art History I took at UW-Madison, all of the creativity that I love and have such passion for in others....it was great. The artisans at this festival are very good. There were so many things to look at and enjoy - from jewelry to textiles, photography, sculpture, metal arts, paintings - you name it. Just marvelous.

I'll share some of my favorites that I think I audibly "squealed" over:

1. Beautiful and sassy hand-made aprons from "Oven Luvin" - fanTAStic and extremely "squeal"-worthy!

CHECK IT OUT - IS THIS ADORABLE OR WHAT?????

.....and THIS one is just even cuter! I don't know

if I can handle it.....dang.

2. An amazing photographer, Bill Cady, who has BEAUTIFUL work. www.cadyphotos.com

I believe I will have a house full of this man's work one day- it is breathtaking. Check out his shots of the Canadian Rockies - oh. MAN.

3. THEN, there was KLH Designs jewelry. Oh man. Stunning pieces. Like the following which I lingered over for an hour - or FOUR! Just elegant and different and hand-crafted with

a whole lot of "classy". Very cool. The earrings were stunning.

TERRA TEAL
Looking for an elegant, stunning piece of bling? Look no further. This gorgeous 18" pearl necklace is packed with citrine, topaz, and flourite gemstones. This 3 in 1 necklace is actually a necklace and pearl enhancer with a clasp so that it can be removed. Wear the necklace alone, the pearl enhancer on a chain or another set of pearls, or combine them for a stunning presentation.

www.adornmentswithattitude.com

4. THEN there was a lovely artist, Deb Magelssen, who does sassy, fun art deco Pet Portraits (among other things)!! What a GREAT resource!

.......a fine looking pooch!

.......and a cocker spaniel! Oooohh. (with 'pink' ears, at that!)

5. THEN, there were "custom lake carvings" by TJK Woodwright. www.tjkwoodright.com

These were flippin COOL.

Seriously. If you know someone who has a lake home - what a precious gift. Take a peek at his website. It's incredible.

I'm giddy.

6. Anti-Kristen bought some beautiful prints from Larry Landis Studios. Her kitchen is going to ROCK. I can not wait to find the perfect shade of "butter" for the walls to pull out the gold in her new, beautiful artwork!!!

Isn't it just sweet? (Literally!) This photo really doesn't do it justice - it's matted in white and with a wide, classic black frame against a butter-colored wall, it's going to look "super-sonic-spectacular"!

(I said that just for U, Kiki!)

Good times.

The art-lover in me took in everything, today, with all my senses. That is how creative souls work, I think. It's an 'experience'. I am sooo content tonight, thinking about a spontaneous weekend day - impromptu, with my sweet Kiki and some fun girl time. OH - and BTW - for those of you who didn't attend this year and are marking it down on your calendars for next year... the first half of the show brings you right around to St. Anthony Main and the live music and swarming people on the deck at "TUGS", makes for a perfect lunch venue! Kiki and I slid into a perfectly positioned table outside by the music and knocked back some WICKED good burgers and fries while we shared good conversation and people-watching, as usual. www.rhtugs.com

You know...just witnessing God-given talent in these artists, today, was a blessing in itself. Their gifts were shining all over the place, and that's something that is beautiful to me. I knew when I settled on my Interior Design major @UW-Madison, that this part of life was special to me. The eye for all things beautiful. In nature, in people, in so many things. God's hand is so very evident in our daily lives and I can not take one breath in a day without looking to Him and thanking him through a song in my heart for everything He has given and created. It is for us, His creation. Part of His love story for His children.

All things beautiful.......

(...great way to wrap up a night - blogging on my bed with two SNORING cocker spaniels. I should take some righteous video footage of it...but I'm waay too lazy to get up. And I am saving my energy for my 7:30 run tomorrow morning before church - - - when everybody else is still vewy, vewy quiet and the poignant things that accompany me on my run besidesin addition to the Lord are the birds singing, the air crisp and fresh and the sun shining in the sky. Giddy-UP!)

For today....."The End". Amen.

Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Living Through the Lord's Prayer, by Telford Work

2010-06-09T23:12:00.000-05:00

SO captured, tonight, by today's post on Beth Moore's 'Living Proof Ministries' blog.

Beth's daughter, Melissa, writes today's entry on the subject of a book by Telford Work, titled, "Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Living Through the Lord's Prayer".

Her depiction resonates with my heart a bit and I must buy a copy of this book ASAP. I'm just intrigued by what Work uncovers in his description of our "culture of sorrow". It's a very interesting perspective.

I love when I come across a more random post on Beth's site. It so often gives me a little gem that I wasn't expecting. The description of Work's coined phrase, "culture of sorrow" really speaks to me as I observe what seems to be more of the "norm' of our culture today. Sad? Yes - often. But still, it's sometimes good to dig way deep and search for the root of things.

If you're so inclined - please feel free to jump on Beth's LPM site, below, or read today's post that I've included. Good stuff, Maynard.

http://blog.lproof.org/

A Culture of Sorrow: Part One

79 Comments

June 9th, 2010 Melissa

Tags: Posted in Uncategorized

I called my Mom after work this evening to check and see if she was blogging tonight and when she said she wouldn’t be able to just yet I decided I would throw a little random post your way. Since I’m out of classes, you might find some random or boring (??) discussions on this here blog every now and again. What you’ll find here tonight is meant to be less of an assertion than it is a discussion about some new thoughts I find intriguing.
Last summer I read a book called Ain’t Too Proud To Beg: Living Through the Lord’s Prayer by Telford Work (2007). Dr. Work is assistant professor of theology at Westmont College. I don’t know him personally but I enjoyed him to no end through his writing. His book is a rare and thrilling infusion of disciplines. I don’t want to summarize or review this unique book here, but it is certainly worth a read. Even if you disagree with Work at various points, I promise you’ll learn some things along the way. Plus, in your heart of hearts you know you feel compelled to read a book by an author named “Telford Work.”
As I do with all the books I really love, I picked the book up again last night and started flipping through it and glanced over the places where I had highlighted or made notes in the margin. I loved this book so much that even my revisiting of it took me all the way to the epilogue. The epilogue is composed of several of Work’s sermons. One of these sermons in particular caught my attention. In this sermon entitled “You Can Say That Again,” Work coins a phrase, “culture of sorrow.” He uses it in reference to our own culture and “the common sensibility that life’s true character is misfortune and that sadness rules over us” (226). He says:

“In our culture of sorrow, sadder is cooler. Joy may be desirable, but it’s not fashionable. What is? Ask the fashion industry! Does that look of aloof, disheveled, emaciated, sophistication strike you as happy? Me neither. But it’s cool! Or name a big pop band that has looked happy in its photos since the Beatles in 1964. Cool means hard stares, angry sneers, lust, and brooding . . . angst, ennui, existential despair, cynicism, political decline, environmental catastrophe, and social alienation . . . Master these and you’ll be the life of the dinner party” (226).

And taking it further, he says again:

“In our culture of sorrow, sadder is wiser. Misery has become our myth, our metanarrative. Joy is liable to be taken as immaturity or ignorance . . . If you want an Oscar, don’t go with a so-called Hollywood ending. Go with a gut-wrenching tragedy like Million Dollar Baby . . . Sadder is deeper. . . What moves a personal relationship from small-talk pleasantries to greater sincerity? Telling the truth, of course. And for us the deepest truth-telling generally involves the disclosure of pain, hardship, and anxiety. Relationships tend to deepen from shallow happiness to more authentic sorrow . . . Sadder is greater . . . Anger, fright, and fantasy bring out voters and volunteers, not joy. Fear and greed drive the economy, not joy. Sorrow acts and we react. It calls the shots” (227).

Brief Tangent: If you’re like me, you are becoming increasingly suspicious of the phrase “in our culture” because it is used so often to introduce all kinds of authoritative but contradictory statistics. I use this phrase “in our culture” out of sheer habit and because it is so delightfully malleable but I always question myself when I use it because I know full well it is typically going to introduce a generalization. Having said that, some generalizations are more legitimate than others. So even if you’re like me, and you’re super skeptical and annoying, you have to hand it to Work because his “culture of sorrow” idea sure seems to describe a significant aspect of our culture even if you don’t agree that it is indicative of our culture across the board.
The other day Colin and I watched “The Road” with Viggo Mortensen. The movie was based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy. Now to be fair, I did not read the novel but the movie, in my opinion, was one horrific and unimaginably depressing scene after another. Just when I thought I was watching the worst the movie had to offer we were abruptly hurled into a whole different strata of horror. And the characters didn’t even have names. Not my idea of a blockbuster night. Typically I like an emo and soul probing flick but I couldn’t discern even one strand of hope throughout the film and this led to the hardness of my heart. Anyway, the book was evidently deemed one of the most important and brilliant movies of the year. I wish I could say that the accolades surprised me but they did not. In my own opinion what was profound, was not the movie itself, but the very fact that so many people had heralded it as profound—to me that said more about “our culture” than anything else.
I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought of this whole “culture of sorrow” thing… as soon as I read the phrase I was mentally slapping my knee thinking to myself, “Telford Work is just so painfully right!!!” You know those people who can articulate a once rather opaque phenomenon dead on– well that is sort of what reading this entire book was like for me. I just kept thinking, “I would have written this myself if I would have known how to explain it.” That is the best kind of book- when it hits so closely to home that you feel you yourself could have written it even if you don’t have a fraction of the writing ability that the author has.
When Colin and I were first married, people would say things like, “Tell us the truth, what is marriage really like?” I almost felt forced to whine, complain, bare my melancholy soul—or be exposed as superficial, inauthentic, or worse–simpleminded. Now, of course, it is one thing to be honest when things really are tough and difficult, but even when things were not tough at all, and I was in fact enjoying my life and marriage, I would feel the need to give some token piece of what “reality” was really like or some slice of darkness to build credibility with my conversation partner. Good night . . . as though life is not tough enough without feeling pressure to forge expressions of grief. If you’re bothered by folk who tell you they’re “fine” when they’re really not, what about people like me who have, on occasion, acted as though things were tough when they really weren’t?!?
Egads.
I was laughing a few weeks ago when I was on our trip and someone made the comment, “Everyone on this trip, is just so . . . happy!” I gotta be honest, I was sort-of-kind-of thinking the same thing to myself at first, until I saw my own log in someone else’s plank. I mean seriously, would she, or I for that matter, rather them all be depressed and lethargic rather than happy and peppy? I’ve also, time and time again, fallen prey to the naive mistake of assuming that the most thoughtful and intelligent people I know, the “thinkers” if you will, are mostly those people I know who are usually despondent. Work’s discussion of “our culture of sorrow” gave voice to some of my assumptions that I hadn’t really given much thought to before.
Now before you slap me silly, this post is not the end of the story. And it isn’t even the end of Work’s sermon. I cannot sum up this entire discussion here. This is only Part One. In Part Two of this blog (to come in the next week), I would like to explore the place of both joy and sorrow within a Christian worldview. I’m not trying to throw the baby out with the bath water (By the way, where in the world did that phrase come from? It is just beyond weird). So, for now, even though you haven’t likely read the book, what do you think about Work’s initial sermon thoughts? Have you encountered this phenomenon before? Is this perhaps a bigger issue for one generation than another?
Have you found that sadder is often “cooler” or “wiser” or “deeper” or “truer”?
Talk to me.
P.S. For those of you who have expressed a desire to buy the book–please know that this subject is not a major issue in the book, it is only in the epilogue in a short sermon. Also, it is a fairly academic read. Having made this full disclosure, I still think you will like the book.

I Stand Amazed - Chris Tomlin

2010-06-06T19:40:00.000-05:00

I Stand Amazed...

2010-06-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

Do you ever stop to think about God's blessings for us? I mean....reeeeaaallly think about how deeply The Lord wants to bless us?
I stand in awe of Him today. I can not even find words in the English language to describe the buckets of blessing He has begun to pour out on my life.....to my utter and complete amazement. Why would I ever question, that in His perfect timing, He would reveal a story and with it more incredible blessings than I could ever in my finite mind comprehend?

He is GOD.

Maybe, as a dear friend of mine explained so beautifully to me, today - - - it's because sometimes we're so very busy trying to walk the narrow road of obedience in our lives, it feels like the forest. We are focused so intently on just making it to the next "tree" that as we walk deliberately and slowly through the valleys and the forest that He is bringing us through - as He teaches us lessons and so many things through heartache and unspeakable circumstances - - we so often forget to "lift our heads".

Until....we've reached the last tree before the forest literally opens up into a glorious field of dreams. With beauty so far-reaching we can barely take it in. And, in our perfectly frail humanity...we finally "look up" and see.....with open eyes, ears and hearts and realize that His hand is upon us delivering one of His promises. It is so beautiful and so "of God" and so incredibly beyond what we could ever have imagined....that we can barely breathe.

Today, I celebrate the One True Mighty God. The Faithful One. The One who loves to lavish His perfect gifts on His children and bless them.

I can barely lift my face to Him, I am so humbled. Beyond words. Beyond comprehension.

"Who am I, Lord? ...that You should bless me??"

A whole new life. Transformed. Redemption. Because of Him.

How marvelous - - how wonderful...is my Savior's love for me......

Kari Jobe singing "You Are For Me"

2010-05-26T20:30:00.000-05:00

Ok.........I Admit it....I "Heart" Michael Bublé....

2010-05-24T21:00:00.005-05:00

I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing!

2010-05-22T17:35:00.000-05:00

WARNING

"Non-Coffee Drinker" - beware. This post is NOT for you....

Coffee Cake. Literally.

This is a yummy cake for coffee lovers ONLY, man. Just read the title.

It’s not cake you eat with your morning coffee. It’s how you get your morning coffee.

Instant coffee granules right in the cake...AND the frosting. MERCY.

This is a cake for ME. I "heart" you, Pioneer Woman, for publishing this recipe. My life will never be the same.

Prep Time: 15 Minutes

Cook Time: 20 Minutes

Difficulty: Intermediate

Servings: 12

Ingredients

FOR THE CAKE:
2 cups Flour
2 cups Sugar
¼ teaspoons Salt
2 sticks Butter
3 Tablespoons Instant Coffee Crystals
½ cups Buttermilk
2 whole Eggs
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
2 teaspoons Vanilla
_____
FOR THE ICING:
1-½ stick Butter
1 pound Powdered Sugar
2 Tablespoons Instant Coffee Crystals
¼ teaspoons Salt
4 Tablespoons Heavy Cream

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two round baking pans.

In a large bowl, mix sugar, flour, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Set aside.

Melt 2 sticks of butter in a pot over medium-low heat. While that’s melting, add 3 tablespoons instant coffee to 1 cup boiling water. Set aside.

Once butter has melted, add coffee mixture to the butter in the pot. Let it come to a boil for about ten seconds, then turn off the heat. Set aside for just a minute.

In a separate bowl, add buttermilk, eggs, baking soda, and vanilla. Mix until well combined.

Pour the butter/coffee mixture into the flour mixture. Stir the mixture together gently. The purpose here isn’t to mix it together perfectly, but to cool down the heat before adding the egg mixture.

Add in the egg mixture and stir gently until well combined. Then pour into pans. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes or until set.

Allow to cool completely.

Combine all icing ingredients, then ice the cake. Chill for an hour before serving.

Make it, eat it......and swooooooooon (while trying not to eat the whole thing).

Bye!

A Hiding Place for Heartache

2010-05-21T12:03:00.004-05:00

Ever spent much time thinking about an oak tree? I have been, lately.

The handsome splendor of an oak tree is a common symbol of strength and endurance. The oak is the mightiest of trees and symbolizes courage. The ancient Romans thought oak trees attracted lightening and thereby connected the oak tree to the sky god, Jupiter and his wife, Juno, the goddess of marriage. Thus, the oak is a symbol of conjugal fidelity and fulfillment. The oak tree was regarded by Socrates as an oracle tree. It has been said that the oak tree has the power to heal and renew strength. Oaks are known to easily surpass 200 years of age making this tree a powerful, life-affirming symbol.

There is a lot of cultural significance, whether political, symbolic or mythological related to oak trees.

It is used as a symbol by a number of political parties, it is the official state tree of many US states. It's leaves symbolize rank in the United States Armed Forces. Celtic meanings for the oak tree:

Life

Strength

Wisdom

Nobility

Family

Loyalty
Power

Longevity

Heritage

Honor

In November of 2004, Congress passed legislation so designating the oak as America's nation Tree.

Oak wood has incredible strength and hardness. It is resistant to insect and fungal attack. So its enduring properties make it an incredibly popular choice for construction of timber-framed buildings and furniture. On another completely different note, oak is used in barrel production for wine contributing greatly to its color, taste and aroma. French oak brings greater refinement than American oak but American oak contributes greater texture and resistance to ageing.

The bark of the White Oak is dried and used in medical preparations. Acorns from oak trees are used for making flour or roasted for acorn coffee. Japanese oak is often used in the production of Yamaha's drums. The rough, hard surface of oak gives the drum a brighter and louder tone compared to traditional drum materials such as maple and birch.

I think about all these properties and try to compare them to all of the things God provides in my life in similar ways.

My heart aches right now.

It aches for reasons common to man. We all come in to seasons where we are faced with difficulties and challenges that often press us to the wall. It's not anything that singles me out above anyone else, but it still doesn't make what I'm dealing with any easier.

These seasons are not necessarily meant to be bad nor do they necessarily come about through any of our wrongdoing. However, the pruning and the godly contemplation birthed by these seasons is often so incredibly painful.

I remember one of my favorite Avalon songs - the lyrics have settled right to the forefront of my mind and my heart -

"I don't want to go somewhere If I know that You're not there, 'cause I know that me without You is a lie. And I don't want to walk that road, be a million miles from home, cause my heart needs to be where You are. So I don't want to go.

So come whatever, (Whatever may come) I'll stick with You. (Right by Your side) I'll walk, You'll lead me, Call me crazy or a fool, For forever I promise You...That I don't want to go somewhere if I know that You're not there, 'cause I know that me without You is a lie."

It has been a long time since I have found myself - really found myself - in a season where I am spiritually questioning so many things. Where the reality and the very tangible existence of something the Holy Spirit has cultivated and blessed me with is staring me in the face ~ yet I am filled with frustration and maybe even guilt that I don't have enough godly wisdom or discernment after years of spiritual growth to know what to do with it or how to fully understand it. It seems, in some ways, so contrary to much that I have built my own commitments upon - so, from that perspective, I feel myself so completely on guard against any bit of spiritual compromise. On the other hand, because the surprise and the reality of what's before me has grown out of years of pure motive and a pure walk that includes Truth in all areas - I am torn. Not immaturely torn. Not torn because I don't have the ability to process in a self-controlled way a challenging situation. This isn't like being younger, naive and wavering between one side of a fence and the other. The-very-thing that breaks my heart is also one of the most beautiful things/blessings God has initiated, nurtured and given to me in 5 years.

As I contemplate, quietly, my tender heart, God's Word, and all that is swirling in my mind I try so very hard to continue to separate feelings from godly obedience and commitment. I try so very hard to understand which is which. I know that I have learned through no easy road that I beg for God's discipline and His instruction in my life. Without it, left to my own free will choices I will fail so miserably. I will think I am so strong and find out, once again, that I am so weak. There is not anything I can attempt to solve, to face, to understand or to act upon or not - without God leading. I can not run out ahead of Him. I must stay behind Him. I know that. At the center of my struggle is Jesus. He is the Lord of my life. I want His will for me. Not mine. It is HIS name and reputation that are at stake in my choices. It is His reputation that I sully when I dare to step out in faith. So, that is why it makes my current situation so hard for me. I don't want to fail Him. I don't want to miss God's best in my life by making choices based on just what I might selfishly "want" for my present, earthly life. Yet, I believe with my whole heart that God longs to give us the desires of our heart when they are pure and they align with His will. So, what if God intends to bless me with His best via some avenue I never expected? He IS God. Not me.

I believe that God is The Great Restorer. I am clinging to, clutching onto God's Word as it reminds me in Joel 2:24-26 "The threshing floors will be filled with grain; the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..."

I know God's promises are true and that He is no man that he should lie. I know that God is faithful and meets us where we are and when we're so weak, His strength is made perfect.....in our weakness.

So, I think about the oak tree in my present heartache. I do - - because of the vision of protection it provides. Just like The Lord. I see the vast umbrella overhead of the great oak's leaves and feel the strong, unwavering trunk as I lean back under its shelter. Just like leaning into The Lord. In my vulnerability and in the wake of such complete exposure, I run to Him to hide under his wings. It's the place I am safe. It's the place where my heartache can be fully understood and protected. Where I can admit what I am really feeling and share my deepest thoughts. With God I can lay out every single detail knowing that He already knows each one and the motive and the purpose for each individually. I can trust Him to reveal His Truth to me, and I can find assurance that I do not have to walk this alone - again - even though it feels like I do. I run to the words of Psalm 91 and reread them over and over and over.....

"1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]

2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

The oak is a living legend representing all that is true, wholesome, stable, and noble. When you are in need of stability and strength in your life - envision the oak in your mind's eye. Picture yourself drawing into its God-given properties. There is such beauty in God's design of this magnificent tree ~ it is considered the 'king of green realm' ~ generous with its gifts - just as any good ruler shares its bounty amongst the kingdom.

...a hiding place, if even in our mind......through our heartache.

Gertens or Bust!

2010-05-15T19:24:00.002-05:00

Holy cow! What a beautiful day!! (...did I just say, "Holy cow"? ..ugh. Wow.)

Anyways....

I've been looking so incredibly forward to this day since......since.......since last year! Really.

One of my dearest friends, Kristen (yes.....I have friends with the same name as me....some the same, some a version...Kirsten, Kirstin, Christine...it's...well, it is what it is. Very confusing for my father...and yes, I DO have friends with other names - but it has been the source of humor for quite some time) - - - - - man, do I have a problem with digressing.

Now.

Back to the point.

Today was THE Annual "Gertens" trip that Kristen and I take each and every spring. We have been doing this for several years, now, and I believe I can say that it is officially a "tradition" and one I never ever want to stop.

We could NOT have been blessed with nicer weather, seeing that it's only May 15th. It was cold and rainy most of last week - and yesterday morning the sun decided to shine and usher us into an incredible weather weekend.

So, the day often starts a bit early - my alarm was set promptly for 7am so I could enjoy my quiet time and coffee with the stillness of the morning. SO awesome. I couldn't take it any longer, so by 7:48 I had to call Kiki and "it's MORNING TIME, KIKI"-her out of bed. She was just as excited, I could tell.

Typically, according to me, a girl needs to find a way to celebrate Gertens day with some sort of attire "embellishment". I mean - c'mon. Life is waaay to short to be ordinary. SO, I threw on my new sandals and my gardening hat and Kiki arrived donned in a bright pink shirt and scarf.

Trust me. If you know me - you know that sometimes, the more 'girly' the better. (Don't get me wrong - I sweat like a P I G at the gym. My body doesn't know "girl sweat" - it just skips right over that into a whole new dimension, so I DO have balance!) I definitely stop at the "barf" girly point - but every now and again I need to just celebrate the fact that I'm a daughter of the Most High! <Don't we all??>There is nothin like bein a girl and wearin it well. Bring it ON.

Kiki arrived and I must say it's been a while since we've had enough quality time to catch up. That meant chatter and sharing summer "house project" plans with her while she gave me her opinions and feedback on my ideas and palette - which are always priceless to me. I love Kiki-feedback. It's heartfelt, honest, deliberate, exquisite. What can I say? She has great taste! So, we covered the house projects and then had to dig into a website she found while contemplating her own kitchen remodel work that's coming up. It's a FABulous stone website with more offerings of marble, granite, quartz, etc. than your mind can even comprehend. Complete with gallery photos and multiple shots of all 800+ granite selections.....we were drooooling to say the least. I'll share that, after looking at that website, I can not for the life of me understand how someone could not believe in God the Creator. Seriously. These granite selections from all over the world - Brazil, Italy, Finland......they are art.

They are art in its most amazing form. To think that those samples form naturally all over the earth and to see their beauty unfold in a perfectly unique slab is breathtaking. I'll share photos. (And then I need to find some clients who want to showcase something sweeet like this on their kitchen island!!)

We headed off to Gertens (the Eagan scenic route, of course..) but not without a quick stop at Brueggers for a quick Rosemary & Olive oil bagel with green olive/pimento cream cheeeeese. Could I say, "Um....don't talk to me....I'm EATING", any louder?? SO good. Kiki calls it a "martini" on a bagel. Oh yum. It's just plain grubbin.

Right about then, with the windows down in the car (Kiki driving, as usual - cuz I like to riiiide) and the sun pouring in, the tunes goin, I just couldn't have felt more content or blessed.

You see, God has FLOODED my life with amazing friends. I mean - if a girl could be more blessed, I'd have to argue. I don't think so. He has filled my life with such wonderful, steadfast, loving, wickedly hilarious friends that it feels like I'm opening a present every time I get to spend time with them. Each one is so uniquely different - each with their own gifts, personality (of course), each with their own special ways of sprinkling my life full - it's more than I can really describe properly. Sometimes it can be the long, relaxed conversations, the gut-wrenching laughter via plenty of honest sarcasm and wit, the understanding and grace that comes when serious situations bleed into daily life. It can also be the amazing times we spend braggin on the Lord and talking about what we're learning in BSF or bible study - or what he's teaching us and revealing to our hearts. It's serving next to one another. It's the hugs and the acceptance - the unabashed, unconditional, godly love in every single one of 'em that spills out all over onto me and envelops me in this maze of awe. Awe over how blessed I am. Over how God prospers me to overflowing.

Over how.....I so often feel humbly unworthy of God's favor, like this. Because I feeel favored. I feel His loving hand extended all the time. Even when I am struggling through things or hurt and experiencing deep pain. It's so often even more pronounced when I am struggling. When those times come, these friends of mine just cover me. They draw nearer and pray and they stand next to me through everything until we see the other side of the mountain, or until there is peace while the mountain looms. I don't think that I can really do it justice. Explain my gratitude, I mean. I can't.

So........I pondered all that quietly in my heart as Kiki drove through Inver Grove towards our bountiful destination. It was great.

When we arrived, I realized that everyone else in the greater Metro area was apparently having THEIR "Gertens" Day, too! Piles of people! It was great. As we neared the main entrance I felt that familiar excitement that comes when you're a little kid and you're headed into a huge amusement park or some other venue for which you can barely contain yourself.
It's hard to know which way to go there is so much beauty and eye candy. Dang.

Fun part about this year's trip was the addition of Kristen's awesome camera - to which I immediately confiscated for the e n t i r e time. I decided that this year, I would focus on "capturing" our morning and the beauty and ponder my garden "theme" for the year.

Then, we could plan our second trip and I'd know what I wanted. It's just sooo huge - I can walk through once and have 68 different plant-scapes and potting themes arguing in my head for priority. Hee. Hard to believe?? Naaaww.

We perused the full-sun hanging baskets, the indoor shade baskets and veggies/herbs, we hit the ornamental grasses and coleus, the shade-plants and hanging baskets, the dahlias (OH MY FAVORITE), double impatiens,

salvia, yard ornaments - - - - um - - - dude, incredibly gorgeous and ginormous planters, geraniums, begonias, and a sweet new beautiful pink and yellow flower that was incredibly appropriate for our trip.....

Can you believe it? Called..."Kristen's Pink"...! (That's KW's spelling with the 'en', of course!)

We studied the "bird"-gear and the gift area (one of my favorites, also). I can't get enough of garden/cottage design. There's something so tranquil about it. Just - it's just me. Bird houses, specialized pottery - just "comfortable". "Lived-in".

Oooh. The THYMES section. Killer. Some of the most awesome scents.

Girly!!! GIRLY, GIRLY, GIRLY!!!!!!!!

Sweet, delicate flowers...

...Yummy! Lemon Thyme. Chicken pasta salad anyone??

Berries, berries, berries! Look at

the cute strawberry plants. I love it! You "Go!", Chef Jeff!

Succulants and one of my very most favorite "close-up's"! This beautiful trumpet-shaped
flower is soooo cool. Sorry, but really. Like I said with the attire - who has time for "ordinary"??

And about a BAJILLION other flowers and whatnot......

I can't get away from the texture. Seriously. It's ALL ABOUT mixing texture, color, height....amazingly beautiful and interesting and dynamic!

...one of Kiki's "take home's"..

The awesome stacked stone planter.......

....for an OBSCENE $399.00. c'MON.

LOOK at thos red and white dahlias. Have I said a million times over that I love, love, loooove dahlias?? They're sooo beautiful to me.

OH, and then there were, like I mentioned - the yard embellishments! Mmm. Ok. I draw a line, here. There's a fine line between acceptable and just plain old.....JANCKY! So, I share only a few. One that I LOVE....

This is such a great thing for a "Mary Garden". My friend, Lisa, has a Mary garden in her yard which I adore. I'd never heard of it before but hers is a nice, ovalish shaped patch of garden on the side of the house with a trellis or two against the house and then she plants all her herbs and a rose bush and has a statue of Mary in the middle. It's really cool. I'm pondering the location for mine.....still have not decided on a perfect "home" for it, but it's comin!

Now, there were some OTHER yard decorations that Kiki and I both had to have a serious laugh over.

Let's just say.....they

are

for

very

specialized folks......

Um....so.....you've got...."TEX"...

and then you've got the d o g lovers.

Laughing now. Out LOUD. Wow. I mean - I don't know. A ceramic dog in the middle of your beautiful cottage garden? I love dogs 'an all......but.........well, okay. If it suits you! Go for it!

Then, there were the flowers that were being held 'captive' inside and required ransom to be let out...

favorite

bird

bath...

...and

Kiki's

favorite.

We then had to venture INSIDE and there was another 7 hours there. (...kidding. )

...a girl can't forget her pink purse when off to Gertens.

I neeeeeeed these hanging planters. ......NOW.

Then, after I got over walking away from the moss planters,

I had to capture all of the inside planters/pottery.

It goes on f o r e v e r.

....isn't it kind of beatiful? If glazed pottery can be beautiful?

I need a job here Seriously.

Do you realize how many decisions are made based on what

plants to show next to one another - based on height, texture, color,

whatnot! It's amazing. It's DESIGN CENTRAL!!!!

Lord - I am believing for heaven being like

Gertens x a-Gazillion. Amen.

...another one of my favorite photos. s m i l e.

Squirrely, curly ornamental grass/filler. AWESOME.

There it is. Fiber Optic Grass. A staple in my garden. Done.

I can not get enough of the beautiful pottery planters. THESE ARE

SOME OF MY MOST FAVORITES. Do they not

say, "Cozy" to you?? They say it to me. Loud.

Kristen stumbled upon some "pre-landscape plan" ready packages.

Absolutely genius!! And, when we flipped it over it had a sweet

hand-drafted, rendered plan of a certain style.

OH, the interior designer-in-me LOVES this.

GET IN MY POCKET!

Alright. Maybe I've covered the endless aisles and displays of God's natural creations. So, I think I can wrap up our day with something the boyz will appreciate.

The MAN SECTION.

Grillin, baby.

I even found some Bobby FLAY. Indeed.

What chick can resist a man who offers her burgers fries and shakes?? Are you KIDDING me? Belly up.

Oh brother, and these dudes.......

...all Kiki could say was...

"....take me to your people."

Our morning/afternoon was the best, today. I so enjoyed myself. So, I had to make sure I captured it while it was all still "fresh".

Sweet Kristen, "thank you" for being such an amazing friend. AND, "here's to" our first Gertens trip for 2010! Yay! xo

The Prodigal

2010-05-09T10:53:00.001-05:00

Do you have a prodigal child or spouse in your life?

The below devotional, today, was a small reminder of why I stand firm and pray for my prodigal. I love the story in Luke about the prodigal son. I love it because as I've studied it and studied it God has revealed to me His heart through it and His perspective. When you think about how the father of the prodigal son tirelessly watched in expectant hope for his son to come home, how he prepared for that homecoming every day, even though the circumstances hadn't changed and his son was still in the "far country" it is so incredibly amazing and beautiful and contrary to the society we live in today. The father didn't spend his time while his son was away staying resentful, bitter, angry, hurt, victimized, shattered, full of blame or indifference....he prepared! He prepared spiritually, mentally, physically for the day his son would return!! He lived his days LIVING and preparing his heart and his home to receive back his son who had wandered off - to chase the longings of his own flesh and to fulfill his own free will, thinking it would bring him all the happiness, contentment and fulfillment he was longing for. But he didn't find it out there. He realized that what he was left with were empty promises.

When the son realized the extent of his choices through the consequences he'd suffered, and he returned home....he was met by a father running toward him with open, loving arms!!

He didn't return home to an empty house because people had forgotten about him or had "moved on" and were now to busy and engaged in their lives for him. He didn't return home to face a father who had a tirelessly long list of "expectations" that he had to fulfill before he would be accepted, once again. He didn't return to find a bunch of conditions that he would have to live beneath, now, in order to regain the love from his father (but if you read the story in Luke, you see the selfish perspective of his brother who did keep record of wrongs and who did want him to have to continue to "pay" for his sins and continue to gravel until he felt it was maybe enough. It's a completely different perspective and state of heart and spirit. It's the world's way.)

The prodigal son returned to a beautiful, godly agape love that his father had for him. A love that had only grown since he'd left. A love his father allowed our heavenly Father to shape, reignite, rekindle and keep burning brightly even though his son was away. It kept his heart soft, humble, devoted to prayer and continued steadfast seeking in God and crying out to Him for his son's protection, guidance and protection while he was out in the wilderness of life. That is self-sacrificial love. That is committed love. That is godly love. It welcomes back with open arms when we least deserve it or when we feel least deserving of it.

May 9 - The Father's Heart
"But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him."
(Luke 15:20)

How much love do you have for sinners and prodigals?

That may sound like a strange question, but it's one I want you to think about today. All too often, once we get saved and get our lives cleaned up a little bit, we lose our compassion for those who are still lost. We look at the drunk stumbling down the street or the guy at the office who lies to the boss and tells dirty jokes and turn up our spiritual noses.

But if we ever truly understood the heart of our heavenly Father, we'd never do that again. Jesus told a story that can give us a glimpse of that heart. It's the story we call the prodigal son.

You've probably heard it many times, how the son rebelled and dishonored his father, and how the father, in spite of it all, received him home with joy when he repented. But there's one phrase in it I want to draw your attention to today. It's this one: "But when [the prodigal son] was yet a great way off, his father saw him."

That phrase gives such a moving glimpse of the heart of that loving father. It tells us that even before his boy had repented, even during those long days when he was up to his eyebrows in sin, that father was watching for him, longing for him to come home.

Every morning he scanned the horizon, hoping to see the silhouette of his returning son. And the last thing every night, he'd look again... straining his eyes in hope. His son was constantly on his mind, and his heart was always full of love for him. The kind of gut-wrenching love that, on the day his son came home, drove that father to run to him and kiss him.

That's the kind of heart our heavenly Father has for those who are lost. It's the kind of heart He had for you while you were still wandering in the world. It's the kind of heart that embraced you with open arms even when you were still covered with the grime of sin.

There's a whole world full of weary people out there who haven't yet found that embrace. They're more than just "sinners," they're our potential brothers...lost ones in desperate need of a loving heavenly Father. God forbid we should ever turn up our noses at them. May He help us instead to start bringing them home.

-----------------------------------------------

"Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says, “You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests.”—the same voice that gave life to the first Adam and spoke to Jesus…the same voice that speaks to all the children of God and sets them free to live in the midst of a dark world while remaining in the light."

-Henri Nouen from "The Return of the Prodigal Son"

I pray that more and more people will learn to adopt this perspective and fight spiritually for those we love who are wandering, who are prodigals....who need to have their hearts touched by the Holy Spirit's love and turn and humble themselves under His mighty wings and return home. I pray that instead of returning to indifference or hardened hearts that they would return to open arms. Longing to embrace them. Praising God for their return and ready to have a party of all parties - with shouts of praises and thanks to the Lord!

Luke 15:11-32 NIV

The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

¹³"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' ²⁰So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.^[a]'

²²"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

²⁵"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

²⁸"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

³¹" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Amen and Amen!

The Unreasonable Will of God

2010-05-02T09:52:00.001-05:00

I watch Charles Stanley's "In Touch" ministry program (www.intouch.org) nearly every Sunday morning before church or in the evening and I can not even describe how powerful and convicting his sermons have been for me over several years. I have gotten into the habit of grabbing my coffee and my journal, my Bible and a highlighter and pen and I sit down - often excited to take in a new teaching for the week.

I can honestly say that I crave God's truth in my life more and more and more each and every day. I didn't used to be that way. But He has placed in my heart an indescribable hunger for it, even when it means that I have to change my mind or my plans or my direction because of what it reveals to me. I realize that the more I choose to argue with God when I know He's telling me to do or not do something, the longer I postpone His peace and blessings. When I feel like I have to argue with Him about something He's revealed to me - because maybe it seems really "unreasonable" - or "impossible" or whatever......then I have to understand that if my answer can't be, "Ok, God. Yes - I'll do it. Or, rather, "Yes, I'll walk away from that. I wanted to pursue that or them and you're telling me that's my will not yours, so ok - I will obey you no matter what I have to lose or walk away from."" - - - - then I will suffer the consequences of my own disobedience and free-will choice. It's not worth it. Even when it means the loss of people's affections or affirmation or friendship or just the loss of them in my life - period. I know - it seems drastic or maybe even narrow-minded. But, I've learned that obedience to God and all it can cost us or cause us to sacrifice - it is a critical lesson that we must learn in our Christian walk. It's life-changing when we surrender to His will and ways. Even when they seem unreasonable to us with our "common sense" mentality. As Charles Stanley points out - human "common sense" leaves us inadequate! Always. We're not omniscient! GOD is omniscient! He knows everything. He loves us. He wants what is BEST for us, even when that seems opposite to what we want. (Or think we want). God has all understanding and I have to understand that when I am inclined to want to start "rationalizing" what He's asking me to do - I need to stop! God has already thought through ALL those things I'm rationalizing. He knows the outcome and He has a perfect plan and He wouldn't ask me to do or not do something if He didn't know where it was going to lead!

In today's sermon, Charles Stanley hits on this subject in such an amazingly insightful way. I felt God confirming the very real concept that if I only obey God when I can "figure it out"...then I'm headed for serious trouble in my life. I will get myself into situations that might feel good, fulfill me or seem to benefit me or someone else greatly for the short term but will cause long-term hurtful, painful consequences that I or even others could have avoided completely, if I'd just listened to God's leading and trusted Him. God's just not obligated to give us a full understanding of His will or what He's asking us to do all the time. He expects us to trust Him and have faith that He knows best in all things. I can't really say how precious that is becoming to me in my own life and Christian walk with Him.

So, feel free to tune in..

http://www.intouch.org/site/c.cnKBIPNuEoG/b.4945473/k.BE35/Home.htm

G L O R I O U S

2010-05-01T08:30:00.000-05:00

Me and my sanguine personality are "up and at 'em" this fine beautiful Saturday morning. In my typical disciplined fashion, I allowed myself a very specific amount of priming time last night and was in my jammies frighteningly early so that I could go to bed and set my alarm for 7am to usher in the weekend.

So, I'm a n e r d. I don't care. It's what keeps this girl goin, sometimes. I know myself too well. If I have a busy week that includes a long evening laundry list of things to accomplish, I know too well that by Friday night I'm going to need 10+ hours of sleep...or ELSE. Does someone hear me? Mmm. So, I "put myself to bed". It's a good thing, putting one's self to bed sometimes. Women especially. Ever find yourself to be holding up the 1st place, prize-winning ribbon for 'crankiest girl'? Well....I don't claim to know too much, but one sure thing I do know.... 4 words. Put yourself to bed. It usually works. The day looks much brighter after a good rest. Praise the Lord and Amen.

Ok. I can already tell I'm going to meander all over the board before getting to the meat of this morning's blog topic. Ugh! I digress...

It's such a beautiful day. I admit very readily that I struggle with morning quiet time. Not quiet time, in general. MORNING quiet time. On the weekends it is an all-together different thing. I LOVE, love, LOVE the morning on the weekends. If I can just have that 10 hours of sleep on Friday nights...then you can get me up @6am and I'll be cheery. But, on a week-day - another story. I am embarrassed to admit that I believe I've been setting my alarm a good hour early, now, during the week for...............um.................3.....................years. Yes....I said....YEARS. I am so set in my sleep habits. It's terrible. Mind you, I typically end my days with a good hour of quiet time - whether I journal or do my BSF or get in the Word and have prayer time...so I end my day with the Lord, but I've been struggling for sooooo long with the important concept of 'starting' my day with God. It's a discipline.....

I continue to pray about and work on that quiet time. It's a matter of pride and selfishness, really. I hit that snooze button, like - 4-5 times a morning. For 3 years??? It's absurd. And, yes. For 3 years. Can I say, "Ugh?!?!?" again? UGH. I'm tired, I'm lazy and I'm too concerned about my sleep during the week. And I think I can learn to buck up. If I get enough sleep, I can get up. The weekends already prove it - so, it tells me, if I want to sacrifice and give God my first and best time every day, I will need to figure out a way during the week to either give up some evening things to get to bed OR get up TIRED. The idea of sacrifice doesn't always get us human beings to revved up. But, I know better.

I have all but lost the whole reason I thought I'd blog today.....but I think I've remembered. On almost any given day, I wake up and head outside to let Rio and Chufa out and am greeted by what looks like a local park. The mature trees and vast green space that surround my home are so beautiful in every season. As I woke up today and lingered outside for a while, I took in the quiet of a weekend morning. Nobody is awake yet, my coffee-maker is finished brewing <NOTHING like waking up to the smell of your favorite bean already waiting for you>

the wind chimes outside my front door are gently blowing and the birds are flying back and forth to all the feeders - happy and welcoming us to a new day. It's God's GLORY revealed - - and just a smidgen of it.

I can now head to my chair to have some quiet time with God bringing a grateful heart for His glory. He gives me so much. When I trod from one day to the next with blinders on, caught up in the responsibilities and the busyness of my life it is so easy to breeze right by the treasures that are right in front of me all the time. Sounds trite - very trite, but it's truth. More and more, I take all kinds of time for the little things in life. I didn't used to - to the degree that I do now, but I don't miss it anymore. I try to engage all my senses every day in what's happening around me and I pray, daily, as I drive into the office that God won't let me miss the opportunity to serve Him "this day" or to miss the opportunity to help someone who is in need - whether it is spiritual, emotional, physical. Help doesn't always come in huge packages. It can be encouragement, an attitude, a perspective, time.....and I know that if I don't ask God to keep me sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit every single day - I will be sucked into the competing, compelling nature of the world and miss whatever it is He had specifically in store for me that day. It's not hard to do. Even when you're a Christian seeking His will and His ways in your life.

We live in a time where society and its secular agenda are becoming mountainous. Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn....there is temptation customized to fit your very particular weakness. And know that it will show up in appealing form. It will trick you, it will lie to you, it will cause you to think what's "wrong" is "right" and little by little by little.....it will transpose your thought life so that pretty soon, you think it is all okay. Or, maybe, you'll just be conned into thinking "everyone does it - it's socially acceptable, so - it must just be fine." It looks shiny. Glittery. Completely acceptable, whatever it might be - - an unassuming coffee date with someone of the opposite sex - "for business" reasons. A quick game of pick-up basketball with a buddy and someone of the opposite sex whom you think can just be a "friend", meanwhile you're playing basketball in the first place to blow off steam because your home life is particularly stressful and overwhelming right now. Cheating just a little on your taxes. Not keeping your word. White lies that we tell "just to keep the peace". Spiritual compromise that we justify regularly so that loved ones or family members will accept us or not feel personally convicted in the areas that they should or need to be. "Girls night out" posing as just a well-deserved time to unwind while your husband stays home - while placing yourself in a position to be approached when you least expect it. Feeling like it's okay to head to that bachelor or bachelorette party even though there will be things taking place that nobody should be condoning let alone encouraging silently by their physical presence. Giving into the pressure to ostracize peers, friends, coworkers or people that threaten your popularity or social standing. The list is loong. Is it not? Is it not full of the very things that we'd all probably rather not uncover? The "little" things that we like to call "acceptable" because the "bigger sins" surely usurp these? I know that after 5 years of bible study with BSF (www.bsfinternational.org) I can not pretend to live under a bushel basket anymore when it comes to the above "unmentionables" and the 1000 page list that accompanies them. I've had plenty of my own experience dabbling in any number of the above, all along thinking I was okay if I, PERSONALLY, didn't indulge or do anything yet was privy to it.

What started to become alarmingly clear to me was the persistent convicting statement that was revealed in a popular contemporary song I heard on Christian radio. The song is called "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. In today's world, its lyrics are powerfully dead on.

"Slow Fade"

Be careful little eyes what you see

It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go

For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear

When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you're thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

Daddies never crumble in a day

Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

"For the Father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see..."
That's the statement. God is omnipotent. He is ever present. He is ever-seeing. What we do in thought, mind, deed.....He sees all of it. He knows all of it and our motives are never ever hidden from Him no matter how long we choose to lie to ourselves.

As a Christian I know that I have to make a daily, conscience choice to ask God to keep me in His will, not my own. If I don't do that and if I immaturely, blindly believe that I can walk through my day without the knowledge that if I don't I'm a moving target for the enemy's arrows, I'm setting myself up for disaster. Maybe that sounds a bit exaggerated. It's not.

One of the reasons my heart is still being convicted on the whole morning quiet time routine, I believe, is because beginning the day with God is crucial. Giving Him our best time and allowing Him to breath His Words, speak His agenda into our day - is critical, if we're going to serve Him and if we're going to walk in His will and not get lost on our own path or get caught up in all of our own selfish wants and needs. There are a million and one choices in this life. Choices in independence, in vocation, in relationships, in responsibilities, in personal and corporate accountability, in churces, in spiritual leadership and maturity........umpteen choices.

What kinds of choices are we going to make in our lives and how are we going to have some assurance that they're "right" for us? I'll fathom a guess. If we purpose to seek God, first, in all of our choices and ask Him to grant us discernment for them and they line up with God's will - which means that they are consistent with God's WORD....then, we can have some hope and assurance that they're right. When we ask the Lord for confirmation about our choices/decisions, with pure heart motive and wait patiently for Him to reveal it then we are learning to seek Him in all things rather than just act randomly and independently according to what we feel and/or don't feel - and using that as our plumb line for decision-making and choices.

A well-known Bible teacher, Joyce Meyer, poignantly spoke not too long ago about how "God always pays for what He orders." At first, her statement blew by my ears and I didn't really "hear" it. Then, I revisited it. What "He" orders. Not what "we" order. The Lord is no puppet. He doesn't whimsically just bless everything we want or decide or desire. He is under no obligation to "pay for" what we, as humans, desire or choose under our own, selfish, worldly compulsions. If we are asking Him to bless something we've acquired or chosen out of brokenness, out of feelings, out of human manipulation - we'd better "check" ourselves. Think again. The coined phrase comes to mind...."Not so much!"

God blesses what HE ordains. Sometimes that's the very hardest for us to chew and swallow. I know that too personally. What God ordains is pure. It's perfect. It's blameless, it's without manipulation. It requires obedience and right heart motive. It requires wholeness and healing and the desire for Him to be glorified and honored through our choice/decision. If God can't be glorified for what we order, then I believe that's one of the very first checkpoints that will siphon our expectation of God's long-term blessing. If that choice will hurt others because of our failure to deal with our own sin or rebellion, we'd better regroup and seek healing instead. If our choice will only continue to foster spiritual waywardness or worldliness, if it continues to overshadow truth and perpetuate darkness or hidden truth - again....not so sure the blessing breakthrough will come through! If, in our choice, we're running away - God will withhold blessing and encourage us gently and patiently to come back. He's not an enabler. He loves us waaay too much to ever perpetuate our rebellion. Satan does that, on the other hand. That's his job. God will certainly allow our rebellion - otherwise free-will would not exist, but I know that I know that I know that God desires restoration and healing and He is a God of reconciliation for all times. God sent His very son to reconcile the world!

I don't know why I felt so compelled to ramble on this today. Something in my heart said that too many of us grapple with all of this, way too often, and we need to get a handle on it. Temptations of this world are strong and real. They're ripping apart our entire nation. Families, marriages, children....it's staggering when you give it some honest thought. It pains me. It breaks my heart to the core. I KNOW God has placed the real burden of and for marriage and family on the exposed sleeve of my conscious heart for good reason! Life experience. My heart bleeds for broken homes. Every week there seems one or more additional couples to add to my prayer list for healing and reconciliation. The list grows exponentially, faster than the days fly by. It's awful. It's real. It often seems un-surmountable - but it ISN'T. GOD IS BIGGER.

I don't offer this opinion casually or without humility and respect - but for the vast majority of these people.....the answer lies in Jesus. The answer lies in a surrendered heart and life to Jesus Christ. That is where the healing begins. That is where the love is rekindled. That is where life completely transforms and God begins to deliver on His promises of blessing. We can't just live our lives "our" way and expect the treasures that come from living His way...

Serving the Lord in this life comes with a high price to pay. In relationships, in all of life. There isn't a lot of wiggle room for selfishness or victim mentality or keeping record of wrongs. There can't be. All of that defeats the purpose of that whole heart transformation. I'm not saying that, as human beings, we completely lose all of that when we let God into our hearts - but we gain a new sensitivity through His Spirit that causes us to love what God loves and hate what He hates. God loves, adores people. He hates and abhors our sin. It's that sin that separates us from Him and the longer we choose to have a casual relationship with sin, the longer we will find ourselves steeped in messy situations and void of true, inner, godly peace.

My consistent prayer for so many on my own list who are struggling in marriage and family - is for Christ to break into hearts and to lead those struggling to surrender in Him. God is in the details....and once we offer our lives up to Him - He will lead. So, for me, that's the first, most critical step. The healing and the restoration and the transformation can not come until that step is taken. Not for anyone! So, the way I see it.............endless problems..............same precious solution/answer. Jesus.

Purdy and A Gallon 'o Primer

2010-04-30T20:16:00.000-05:00

Well....my project agenda has commenced. With the winter schedule fading and BSF wrapping up in May, I'm happy to have some major house projects underway. Some "before-and-after" photos of the work happening with all the trim in my house. Decided it was finally time for some new design direction and along with it - new white painted trim.A bit more dramatic and one of my favorites when you enjoy darker wall paint.

SO, doors are off their hinges, hardware removed and the priming has begun. I've had to have a conversation with myself about

being p a t i e n t, of course. Normally, when I take something like this on I have a sneaking tendency to want it all done..."now"! So, in the past I've been apt to stay up until 2am+ just to keep the momentum going. Mmm. Not any more. I've got plenty of other things on my plate to juggle. It's a good thing for me to slooow down a bit. I just get too excited and want immediate results and that "aha" moment. Ask any designer by trade....I'd be willing to guess they'd concur.

Well, I know what I'll be doing consistently for the unforeseen weekends ahead . Just me, my favorite Purdy angled brush, some "Glidden Gripper" primer < favorite> and a gallon of beautiful, white enamel . Giddy UP! Maybe a roll of painters tape....or 26. It's all good.

I love projects that involve wise resource planning with a big result. Granted - when I'm finished painting - new white doors will come next - but the end result later this year will be well worth it. It's half the fun, sometimes, to wait for it. Maybe more fun that being able to just do everything.....however, whenever. This is like a big present with a huge bow.

I remind myself through this about how much I adore 'the little things'......so, this is one of those times. Sometimes, as much as remodeling or updating a space gratifies a long list of other things - when you're doing the work - it can be incredibly therapeutic. Think about it not.> A glass of wine, some great music - - and paint away! Maybe it's not something everyone enjoys - understood. But, I love it. Anytime. I love to see a job well done and know that my hands have worked hard to produce something I'll enjoy for years to come.

Rio and Chufa, on the other hand..

one word. ONE word.... L O A D S.

Completely. I mean....this is what they looked like last weekend while I primed. Oh....don't move or anything!. Ha.

I love them. Piles that they are and all. Don't let my description fool you...they're spoiled. Rotten. And I'd do it again. And again. And again.

GOOD times.

Precious

2010-04-22T21:25:00.001-05:00

Okay. Okay..........for those who follow The Pioneer Woman (now nearly half the world)- I had to capture the precious photos she's taken of her husband and their youngest babe......absolutely priceless. Ree, otherwise known as "The Pioneer Woman" lives on a cattle ranch somewhere in Oklahoma and if you're not at ALL tuned into the media, she's been on nearly every morning show in existence, showcasing her recipes (yes, she cooks.....and is an amazing photographer, and, and, and.....) and whatnot.

She is hilarious. A good friend of mine shared her blog with me years ago (well before she was winning "Best Blogger of the Year" awards, publishing cookbooks, etc.!!) I was, most definitely, NOT a blog follower at the time. It seemed sooo not "me" at the time. BUT, as soon as I got onto her site I was decidedly hooked.

She wholeheartedly admits that her blogging began as a creative outlet to keep in touch with her family and to give her something extra to do while living on their ranch in the "middle of nowhere", craving real live adult interaction.Well, she has accomplished her outlet and then some!

Next to her recipes (could I love to cook, more? Mmmmm.......NO.) and her PHOTOS of her recipes.....I love all of her photography. I will admit that I stood in line @ the MOA this year for a PAINSTAKINGLY LOOOOOONNNNNGG time to have her cookbook signed with a dear friend of mine. I still can't believe we waited in that line. Mmm. It was good times, though! A memory I will never forget and will cherish for a long time to come.

The Pioneer's photography is breathtaking, really. The scenery she captures and posts on her site is gorgeous and moving. When I look at photos she's taken of the sunrise, sunset, the land, the horses, the ranch work....her children...I see God's hand. Incredible what she captures.

She adores her husband (aptly named, 'Marlboro Man'!) and it shows. Her posts are often filled with stories about him and their life raising their children on the family ranch....and it's hard not to be just plain 'ol smitten with them. She's written chapters, on her blog, about their relationship starting from their dating years all through their wedding. {named "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels"} It's pretty entertaining. The thing about it is.....she has edified her beloved husband consistently and often on her site and it is sooo incredibly refreshing. I mean - she doesn't portray their life as some unrealistic fairy-tale. No....but she's full of inner joy. Joy in her life, joy in their work, their ranch, their life together. There is an uncomplicated, beautiful, peace-filled thing about how she has shared her life stories over the years. Real. Yet - blessed. It's seriously just been a joy to follow her through the years and it has given me countless laughs when I have had a bit of extra time to play a bit and follow her "latest and greatest" adventures.

C'mON! Look at that faaaaaaaaaaace!! Oh, and this boy's eyelashes are about 3 ever-lovin feet long! I can't sttaaaaaannnd it! Adorable. Pretty dang cute. Ree often shares her unabashed feelings about what seeing her strong, strappin MM (Marlboro Man) cartin around one of their kids does to her. It's absolutely just beautiful when she describes it! She just loves him! And the way she captures it is...heartwarming.

There is something to be said for the image of a sweet child in the arms of his/her daddy! Nothin like it. Pairing that strength with the gentleness of a child is what's awesome. Makes me smile.

I'm blessed by her blog in a lot of ways. Reedefinitely lifts up "family" and has shown her readers/blog followers the true beauty of simple, down-home living. It's not about frou-frou, it's not about "stuff" - it's about family, honest, hard work, faith and gathering and appreciating what you've been blessed with by God and honoring it with a grateful heart.

Can I get an Amen?

A M E N.

Sorry, but I just couldn't NOT include a photo of CHARLIE and his EARS. That dog is hiLARious. The EYES.......can't take it!

Seasons of Renewal

2010-04-21T23:01:00.003-05:00

Does your head hurt, yet? Yes, well..this is what Spring does to me and my interior designer brain!

I live for creativity. I have forever. As much as I can backpedal when certain kinds of "change" interrupt my otherwise comfortable existence, I find I am exactly the opposite when it comes to change in my surroundings. I thrive on it.

The majority of my career in design has been spent in the corporate arena. Working with furnishings and finishes for a vast variety of offices all over the Twin Cities. Several years ago, I ventured out and opened a residential interior design business. I pondered it for some time and prayed about it...and when I felt the prompting to move ahead, I knew that I was leaving the possibilities and the details completely in God's hands. I still work full-time in corporate Facilities Planning, but my residential business is just about the icing on the cake for a "best of both worlds" scenario. I didn't move ahead with the decision to become a business owner for the financial side of the equation. I did it because when it comes right down to it....I adore people. I love working with people and I know that God gave me gifts and talent in the world of design and in creating a home. The reason I say I "know" it - is because when I am operating in my true gifting - it is never "work". I never feel like I am working. It comes naturally. It's a joy. It makes my heart full and the reward comes from providing solutions for people who have a need. It also comes from an opportunity to include people in the design process (to the extent they're interested in being a part of it) so that they can also "own" the result.

I learned early on that my personal design style, values, ambition and mantra were not necessarily going to follow the world's definitions for my particular role. There are interior designers of all kinds in the business world. It is what makes it so exciting. It takes all kinds of expertise, specialties and philosophies to foster great design. But the material end of it is just one little part of it, and for me - it's just a fraction of what is important to me. Don't get me wrong - I love..... beauty when it comes to design. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I looove fabric and textiles, furniture and lighting, art and accessories. I love antiques, I love contemporary design, I love rustic charm. I love handmade things, I love when a house is not just a house but a home. There are a million and one details about interior design to appreciate and love. However, for me - God has shown me that it is about the people. It is about serving people.

Customer service-related fields are valuable. Your client is looking for solutions, for help, for guidance and for answers. I take that all to heart, especially when working on residential projects. I am humbled to work with people on their homes - - - space which is very special to them and very personal. Our homes can be our sanctuaries in many ways. They're a haven. If you think of all the things we do in our homes, the list is long. We hibernate, we gather, we host others, we rest, we play, we eat, we commune, we sleep, we laugh, we make important decisions. There are pets or no pets, kids or no kids. There are offices or not, craft rooms or not, specialty areas, or not. There are gathering places. Those living in a home have an array of differing interests - cooking, crafting, woodworking, hunting, gardening, baking, writing music, painting - you name it. These things are valuable and worthy of space that is conducive to them.

Because of all of the above, I have somewhat of a different philosophy, I find, than others. I seek clients who I can build relationships with. I seek clients that I might empower or affect or touch in a special way, depending on what God might have in store. I pray that my clients will become people that I connect with and forge friendships with to some degree. People who know that I am trustworthy and interested in more than just pushing trendy design or material "things" at them. I certainly have opinions and expertise, and I work with and provide all of those things - yet that's not the point or the bottom line. I believe that I need to be a good steward of the dollars set in a project budget and make sure that I am providing due diligence in my selections. I believe that I approach clients with that in mind - always - knowing that they are investing in space for some time to come.

I find great joy in what I do. It never feels like work - but rather, a bit of an adventure. I have a deep appreciation for many different genres and facets of design and I love to embark on new projects. When I am in "my element" my mind is a flurry of ideas and directions, pulling together palettes of paint and fabric, marrying materials together as I search for the perfect textural combination for the space.....wood and metal? Glass and wood? Baskets and leather? Linen and mercurial glass? Velvet and dupioni silk? The choices are often endless. No matter the budget, there are options. It's problem-solving...and I LOVE it. I love when clients are as excited as I am about what I've found and/or pulled together ~ and even more so when they're elated about the savings, when it's possible. That's when I feel like I can say, "Job well done."

God has blessed me with an eye for design, as He has plenty of others. But I've learned to appreciate it honestly and to be thankful for His gift. How grateful it is to be able to be used in His service with talents He's given to each of us. It's what we're supposed to do. We have a great purpose on this earth - the few years that we're in it.....and it's all to be for His glory and honor. We are to work as if unto Him - in all things! So, my life is blessed through the career I've chosen, knowing it is His gifting. I reap the benefits every day when I go to work and am blessed by all the peers and people I come in contact with throughout my mornings and afternoons - and when I work on additional projects with residential clients. He has provided, faithfully, in all things and continues to do so - generously and beautifully. In return, I give Him praise.

Spring Itch

2010-04-15T21:24:00.000-05:00

Heaven help me.

It's springtime...and along with all of the brain clutter

that I sort through that's centered on upcoming gardening ideas

and outdoor things, new spring/summer menus and baking

ideas, I also suffer from a continuous barrage of new design

concepts that constantly barge in on my thoughts and entice me into

giving something a face-lift.

Or a new paint job.

That's spring for ya.

An interior designer just can not help it but to be

inspired this time of year. I am. Guilty.

I think it's time the bedroom got a new look! And,

the wide gold stripes and molding, above, are calling to me, this year!!

I detect a bit of Benjamin Moore on the horizon..

Just the beginning of a little cha-cha-chaaaange!

Wahoo.

Babies

2010-04-10T22:40:00.006-05:00

I was at Caribou this morning for a bit while waiting for another appointment. It was fairly early, but there were already folks staked out at tables and hunkered into the lounge seating...reading the paper, talking, working.

I'd placed my order and was waiting in line for my "Depth Charge". Just minding my own business, enjoying the peacefulness of a Saturday morning - no work, nothing intense on my agenda...and I happened to notice a group of sweet women together at the "big table". They were just wrapping up their little coffee date together, all saying their "good-bye's". Since the table was kind of located in the area where everyone else is waiting for their orders to be filled, I couldn't help but be somewhat awkwardly "in the middle" of their "Au Revoir's". So, to politely try to get out of their way, I shifted closer to the far end of the table and as I did, one of the women turned around towards my direction to say good-bye to her girlfriends. I hadn't noticed but she had on a front-facing baby backpack. There, right in front of me was now this sweet, tiny little newborn. She was so contently snuggled into her Mommy's chest....sleeping, of course. Her full head of dark hair looked like it had been styled in perfect weekend fashion - the "messy look". Adorable. Her Mom was in running shoes and comfy yoga attire - the active "Mom" and she pulled from her pocket the most adorable teeny-tiny cap for her sleeping daughter and gently worked it onto the baby's head - who was otherwise oblivious. She pulled up a little white crocheted blanket from inside the backpack around her daughter and turned to leave to obviously walk home, or to her next destination. As she walked out, I saw the little burp rag/towel attached to the carabiner on the side of the backpack, dangling while she headed out....."all set"!

Dare I say I just stood there and lingered for a while watching her? I think a tear even welled up in my eye, I'm so stinkin sentimental. I have an enormous heart-string connection with that scene. Mom's and new babies. Whatever. I just do. I have forever, but more so lately.

Babies are miracles. Sure - they grow up and turn two and get attitudes and determination and gumption - just like the rest of us. But that's okay! I'll take it..

There's nothing like a baby. To rock them, sing to them, watch them sleep, to snuggle them and take note of every tiny little God-given feature on 'em - that works, mind you! Their eyelashes, their fingernails, their little feet, their lips. Totally dependent on us for their care, provision, guidance.

I walked the few blocks back to my appointment to wrap up and head home, and as I did while taking note of the leftover scent of bonfire that someone must have had the night before, I smiled. My heart felt so full and seeing that sweet 'lil thing brought simple, unadulterated joy into the very start of my weekend.

Thanks, Lord...."You make cool stuff."

"I'll Wait as Long as He Says"

2010-04-01T22:33:00.001-05:00

Psalm 62:5 (NKJV)

"My soul, wait patiently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him."

Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him."

Psalm 62:5-6 (The Message)

"God, the one and only—
      I'll wait as long as he says.
   Everything I hope for comes from him,
      so why not?
   He's solid rock under my feet,
      breathing room for my soul,
   An impregnable castle:
      I'm set for life"

Have you ever found yourself in a heartfelt season of waiting upon the Lord? Really waiting....?

It is something that I find difficult to describe. The things that I've experienced in my life when waiting upon God are vast and varied. In past situations, I recall how much more often I found myself wavering in my waiting - how much more I rode the highs and lows of that emotional roller coaster - still relying more often on my feelings or the immediacy of His answers - than on the hope and the anticipation of what God might have in store through the waiting.

I have begun to treasure God's teaching and pruning and the growth I am experiencing in my faith and in my trust in God's sufficiency, His perfect sovereignty and His faithfulness. I can say that, because, when I look back on my life-on the past few years, I can see God working through the circumstances. Sure, hindsight is perfect, but when God grabs a hold of us and then allows us to take a look back at what He has brought us through, it becomes real. It is powerful ~ how He has kept us in perfect peace when we should have had none, when He has given us strength beyond our own capabilities for situations that would otherwise cause us to shrink back in fear or run away all-together, when He has helped us find forgiveness we couldn't fathom, or grace, godly love and patience for most anything....there just isn't any question. He works miracles.

As I cultivate a greater desire for Jesus in my life, as I seek to know Him more, as I work to discipline my own study of His Word, I realize what it means to become a living example of His transforming power and the amazing love behind it all. We all do. Those who believe that Christ is the Son of God, the perfect sacrificial lamb who suffered and died on the cross, who bore all of our sins and paid the priceless penalty for us - we who believe and accept, by grace, His precious gift of salvation - we are living examples of how His Spirit indwells us and slowly transforms us into more and more of Jesus' likeness.

^"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. "

-Romans 5:6-8

We can not sincerely accept Christ into our hearts and not be changed forever. The Holy Spirit's work in us will create in us a greater and greater sensitivity to our own sin and humble us before a mighty God.

^"1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ²By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

⁵If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. ⁶For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,^[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— ⁷because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

⁸Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. ⁹For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. ¹⁰The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

¹¹In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. ¹²Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. ¹³Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. ¹⁴For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

²⁰When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. ²¹What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! ²²But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. ²³For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^[b] Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 6:1-14, 20-23

The Spirit's work in us is nothing short of miraculous. Because.....when I think about how it applies to my own journey on this earth, I can testify to a period of time where I truly believed that I was a Christian and that I knew what that meant and didn't spend too much of my time doing anything else other than to just acknowledge the fact. Then, I found myself faced with an onslaught of seemingly difficult years which brought circumstances that I truly never imagined would be part of my life story. In the midst of those painful circumstances, I found out a great truth: that I really didn't know Truth at all. I'm talking about godly truth, not the "truth" defined by society's dictionary. I was dancing on the surface, for the most part. Talking the talk, knowing some of what to do, in my faith, but leaving out almost everything else on a daily basis, including the main character.... J e s u s.

Jesus became Lord of my life, personally, when I was desperate for Him the most. At the bottom - or the "near" bottom. When I had run out of every other option, after everyone else and everything else had basically failed. After I was in a place where I felt like I had nothing left. When I reflect on that, I accept it as my own - yet I know how my heart now hurts over the fact that it took that much for me - it took that long for me to give in. It took that long for me to wander and kick against His ways. I wanted my own ways for soooo long.

Included in this series of difficult years, I'd sacrificed the "physical" - through cancer - and even though I realized the divine healing I'd received through that and the faith God instilled in me and my husband through it, that physical sacrifice couldn't compare to the soon-after breakdown of my marriage. The love of my earthly life was suddenly no longer there. Gone. One day there, the next - no longer. Those events spanned more time than the snap of a finger, yes...but it suddenly felt like everything had come crashing down overnight. I was numb. I was in denial. I was looking at my life from what seemed to be "outside" my body wondering if it was just the worst dream anyone could ever have to experience. What was going on?? What was so wrong? How could it be? So, I'd now sacrificed the "emotional". I'd been uprooted, yanked from this earthly stability that I'd known most of my life and grown so accustomed to having and taking for granted, maybe.

There I found myself. I had no idea where to turn or what to really do. I knew the motions to go through. I knew God. I knew where I was supposed to turn, but "how", when I really didn't know Him like I needed to in order to do that effectively? So....as He does so often and with such incredible love and grace and tenderness....Jesus met me where I was. He stepped out. I found myself on my face. Literally.. ~ surrendered. Finally. But then...He came and it was if Jesus laid right down next to me and put His arms around me and just got right down on the floor. He didn't ask me to rise up. He didn't ask me to stand at attention or "do" anything specific to earn His attention or His affection or His help. He met me. And after that day, after I was finally able to present God with a heartfelt invitation to come and abide in me - so He did. I often reflect, now, on how we begin to understand with more spiritual maturity - that Jesus is such an incredible gentleman. He will not barge into our lives and take over. He does not force Himself. We have a choice and He waits, ever so patiently for us to come.

Learning this about His character, His nature has taught me so much, in my own seasons of waiting. It is the pinnacle, in a sense, of my outlook on waiting for answered prayer, waiting on God for whatever reason: insight, increased faith, clarity, confirmation, conviction, healing, restoration, help, discernment, direction, guidance, deliverance. Whatever it is that we are waiting for.... does it not behoove us to remember how long He waits for US? I know how long it took for me to come willingly and honestly to Him - truly come to him and surrender my own free will in exchange for His will. How long did it take for you? How long will it take for you? He is waiting.....so patiently.

"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." - 1 Peter 3:9

Although I find my faith and my trust in what God is calling me to do in my life much more unshakable and often unmovable these days, that doesn't mean I am not human or that I don't have a long, long way to go in my ability to not let the circumstances discourage me or cast doubt over His promises. I try to face my faith with a great measure of Truth and honesty. I talk to God a lot. I lay it out for Him and am learning to share it all with Him - for He sees it all, anyways. I'm not hiding from Him. Ever. My dependence on Him is constant. It is ever present, for all things. But, because it is.....because of my surrender, because of my invitation to Him, into every facet of my life....I am free. Even in the "waiting". Even though fervent, long-standing prayers are yet unanswered. Even though the trials, the testing, the suffering still remain at times. Free to accept His joy in spite of what is not yet healed in the natural. In spite of what might still be so hard, so painful, so complicated. To serve a mighty God who can give us that kind of perfect peace and freedom in the midst of battles that are far too big for us to fight alone....there is nothing greater.

I reflect back on the passage I shared at the top of this entry. With the freedom that only Christ can give to us in life and death...we are "set for life". Jesus is solid rock under our feet. He is the one sure thing. The same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing on earth has that kind of track record. Nothing. So....in my "waiting"....when I become weary or full of fear or hopelessness, I re-read the comforting words in the Psalms. They bring renewed strength and reminders of the victory we have in Him no matter what the circumstances say or don't say. With that - what do we ever have to fear?

Psalm 62:5-6 (The Message)

As I reflect deep in my heart, this Holy Week - on the reality and the time surrounding Christ's betrayal, His crucifixion..and on His glorious resurrection - I feel extremely small. He sacrificed everything. His life. For me. For you. When we don't even deserve it - He still did it and would do it again. That's how much He loves us. So, I feel like my particular "waiting" - as hard as it often seems, it can be an offering to Him. It can become a privilege to wait for what is true, what is holy - no matter what it costs me. Restoration of a covenant. God's best and His perfect timing and plan to rebuild and breathe new life into what has been shattered. I believe God loves to answer BIG prayers. He loves to give us the desires of our hearts when we call upon Him and when our requests are according to His will. I think many people are too afraid to ask for something that big, or to think that He would really answer and deliver. I think it is time people started storming the gates of heaven! He's waiting.....

So I can wait as long as he says.......

"Beautiful Savior"
by Author Unknown, 1677
Translated by Joseph A. Seiss, 1823-1904

Beautiful Savior,
King of Creation,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Truly I'd love Thee,
Truly I'd serve Thee,
Light of my soul, my Joy, my Crown.

Fair are the meadows,
Fair are the woodlands,
Robed in flowers of blooming spring;
Jesus is fairer,
Jesus is purer;
He makes our sorrowing spirit sing.

Fair is the sunshine,
Fair is the moonlight,
Bright the sparkling stars on high;
Jesus shines brighter,
Jesus shines purer,
Than all the angels in the sky.

Beautiful Savior,
Lord of the nations,
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor,
Praise, adoration,
Now and forevermore be Thine!

The Creator of the Universe

2010-03-27T18:08:00.000-05:00

I don't always take time to think about how infinite God really is. But, as I weed through photos, today, to organize, toss/whatnot - I am mesmerized by the vastness and the beauty of a summer sky, a summer sunset, south of the river. Pretty soon, I anticipate a whole lot more.

Beautiful.

Flowers

2010-03-12T13:52:00.000-06:00

Dahlias...

The more I see them, the more I study them, the more I LOVE THEM.

Gardening is a sickness - oh, in a gooood way. But sometimes, it suprises people by creeping up on them. The love of gardening, I mean.

I remember COUNTLESS summer evenings growing up watching my mom and dad tend to their flower gardens for hours. Weeding, pruning, mulching, watering, planting, potting.

Ugh. There was nothing less interesting to me at the time. Sure, I enjoyed looking at it, but beyond that - forget it.

Today. Whole different story. If only I had the motivation and desire that I have for gardening now, back then. My mom would have been so very pleased to have some actual HELP. ;-)

Typically, when the snow starts seriously melting, like it is now, I can't get my brain to stop thinking about planting and upcoming summer gardening ventures. I'm thinking about the traditional trip to Gertens that I take with my dear friend "Kiki". Caribou, shorts, flip-flops, and lots of TIME. Time to wander around every corner, survey every beautifully crafted piece of pottery, time to look at all the coleus (who could ever imagine there would be so many varieties of coleus??)

and the ORNAMENTAL GRASSES - ooooh! (Like my favorite - Fiber Optic Grass!!!)

Then, there's the perennials, the annuals, the filler, the hanging plants, the garden accessories, gifts for gardeners.

NOT ENOUGH TIME IN ONE DAY.

Typically, I love Gertens for the special garden touches. But I must say - it is always a feat for me to remain restrained from purchasing two GINORMOUS hanging plants for my front stoop (Maybe I refrain because they're usually about $75+ a piece. Ugh. Maybe, because truly, I love to plant my own hanging baskets and pick and choose what I'm going to put into them). It's just wrong to tempt people with such lush beauty for the price of a month's worth of groceries!

When I began to love gardening, I realized it was for a great handful of reasons. It is incredibly calming/peaceful to have your hands in soil. There is nothing rushed about gardening or hurried, for me. It's tranquil. I am quiet in Spirit when I garden. I love listening to the birds and feeling the sun on my cheeks when I garden. Or even two summers ago - I remember potting 14 new pots in the drizzling rain. A warm day and the most awesome little rain - all the more reason to throw on my rain boots and gardening hat and make a fashion statement out of it! Ha!

The thing is - I see God's fingerprints exploding all around me when I garden. The petals on flowers, the leaves, the individual characteristics of every single flower.....it is absolutely amazing to me. A neverending joy. God is in every bit of nature, of course. So, gardening has become a simple, uncomplicated, beautiful pleasure of mine that fills my heart with joy all summer long. I know when I have free evenings that I'll walk the dogs or go running and come home to water and prune my plants and I'll sit on my front step or my deck and enjoy some dinner or a glass of wine while I soak in the color and the beauty of the yard and the plants. I think, living in MN, it's hard not to exaggerate the blessed respite of the summer months and what gardening, outdoor activities have to offer. It's mandatory to stay SANE for the entire REST of the year!

So, with that - I am going to allow myself to ponder the upcoming planting extravaganza that will soon be around the corner. I wonder what I'll find and design this year?! ...I'm sure God has plenty in store.

Worth Every Single Bite..

2010-02-27T23:45:00.003-06:00

Lord KNOWS I love to cook. Mostly, I love to cook for other people. Cooking for one is fine, sometimes, but for me---there is nothing that brings that certain satisfaction or accomplishment like a satisfied stomach that has just swooned over some recipe you've created and served up with a little love and anticipation. Maybe I was born for hospitality. Maybe it goes right along with my love for taking care of people. I don't know, but as of late - I've been slacking a bit in the culinary department. < u n d e r s t a t e m e n t> I WILL say, however, that my most recent opportunity to conjur up glee at the table occurred over the following recipe. Albeit easy - the results were more than rewarding. Smiling faces and less talking/more eating said enough.

Simple pleasures. They're somewhat of a forgotten treasure, I think. Maybe you'd like to create a few of your own.....go for it and whip up the following. Uncomplicated, downhome - straight-up GRUBBIN.

Cinnamon Bun Pancakes

Prep Time 5 Minutes
Cook Time 3 Minutes

Servings 8

Difficulty Easy

Ingredients

1-½ cup All-purpose Flour
3 Tablespoons White Sugar
½ teaspoons Salt
4 teaspoons Baking Powder
1 Tablespoon Cinnamon
2 whole Eggs Beaten
1 cup Milk
2 Tablespoons Corn Syrup
¼ cups Butter, Melted
1 Tablespoon Vanilla
For icing: powdered sugar, milk and vanilla extract -mix to "glaze" consistency!

Preparation Instructions

In medium bowl, combine flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and cinnamon with a whisk. Whisk well to make sure everything is combined.

In separate large bowl, beat together eggs, milk, corn syurp, butter and vanilla. Stir in flour mixture.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium/low heat. Pour about 1/4 cup batter onto griddle. Brown on both sides.

Serve warm with icing drizzled over the top.

When it comes to breakfast on a lazy Saturday morning.....nothing conjurs up swoooning over the plate like these. Make 'em for your husband. He'll thank you - hopefully in more ways than one. Make 'em for your kids - they'll probably do ALL their chores without asking. Make them for guests for brunch...they'll fall off their chairs. Heck - make 'em for yourself! Who needs company?! (Kidding!!!....but, they're that good. )

"....BRING it!"

2010-02-27T21:30:00.002-06:00

OH...what a niiice day for a run, that looks like. Mmm. They all don't look toooo exhausted, do they?? Well, I decided I need to meditate on this photo for a while and really buuurn it into my realm of mental gymnastics over the upcoming weeks/months. Why? Well....

A person's got to have "goals", right? Sure...

I won't say when, but this is on the docket for 2010. And, somehow, I find that I just can't solidify my own commitment - be it the mental, emotional, spiritual commitment --- somehow --- if I don't figure out how to make it "real".

So, writing about it makes it real.

What's a few miles of running, anyhow?

Ok. Well...I know what maybe you might be thinking, if you've followed any of my previous blog posts. (Let's see how she's gonna relate THIS to God and..."simple faith".)

Oh ye of little faith!! It's pretty brainless.

Simple, big, fat, humungous FAITH is pretty much what it's gonna take for these two legs to make it. Period.

There. I said it. This is a daring goal for me. This is a good thing. Not because I'm a major wimp - but because it means I have to discipline and push myself in the very area I am most unlikely to have the stamina for doing so.

So - what does faith say??

TACKLE IT.

"MOVE THE MOUNTAIN, WOMAN!" DO IT. (Sorry for the Nike cliche!)

A very dear friend of mine (who suggested this torture for the both of us this year) who will remain unnamed (you know who you are!) offered up this challenge earlier this year and I have to say - it was something I initially chuckled over, but then it sank in and I have been on board ever since. It's a most appropriate challenge for this year. It will be difficult in many ways, yes. It will also be a blast. I don't know too many other individuals that I would join forces with for this so willingly. That says a lot. (Little does she know what she's getting herself into ---- a lotta miles running alongside of me? Ugh. Heaven help the girl. Hee. I hear a "Kristin..."shut UP!"...in my future).

These are the kinds of challenges I find bring us to the places in our hearts and souls where we realize, truly, how much stamina and perseverance we were made to have. (Should we just say LONG-SUFFERING. Sounds much better to me. Argh!) God didn't create wimpy. We choose wimpy. So - let's just get busy putting it to the test.

I know - plenty of other people on the planet have run marathons already - plenty of them are on their 2nd, 5th, 10th! It amazes me. So, part of what we are embarking on is no big deal for other people. But, it's a big deal for us - and that's all good.

It's a race. My goal is to cross the finish line. It would also be nice to train to an ideal time and achieve it! Beyond that, I'll keep expectations real and find joy in the journey!

When I really think about it - what's the difference of preparing and training for a physical race when I do the same, every day, for the spiritual race in my life? I run another race each and every day. This is the life of every true Christian. The race God calls me to run daily - that which He calls me to do in obedience to Him and to His will for me. This is the race of godly commitments and sacrifices I have chosen which I continue to press in on and press through no matter how many obstacles, no matter how many naysayers, no matter how many times the circumstances seem "impossible". This spiritual race is what has come out of the transforming of my own heart resulting in the desire to follow God's ways more than my own. As in any marathon, there is a spiritual finish line in this race. A time when we will receive blessings and be rewarded so richly for our perseverance and our long-suffering as we pursue God's righteousness over worldliness. God's ways over the world's treasures/rewards and over our own temporary selfish desires - no matter what it costs us. Ultimately, this choice is the biggest challenge and the biggest race we will ever run. It's no easy thing. Just as in a physical race - there is injury, there is training, there is backsliding. However, there is always victory in our spiritual race if our focus persistently and confidently remains on Jesus- He is our finish line! The author and perfector and finisher of our faith! Unlike the marathon, this is the race really worth running - because, in Christ, we know the outcome. We win!

Onward and upward!

Hebrews 12:1

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Projects

2010-02-14T15:19:00.000-06:00

February finds me motivated with "projects"! Quilt-making and sewing, card-making for Valentines. I've noticed how much fun it has been, lately, to create some things to bring joy into others' lives. Maybe just a smile, a reminder that they're "loved"...

The rewards that we get from giving are endless. It is something I have been thinking about a lot, lately. It inspired me to get my creative brain and heart in sync.

God has given us all tremendous gifts to offer up in service to Him. What are yours? Are you putting them to work, or are you sitting on them? Just a question I often have to ask myself, even. It's worth asking. When motivation and "giddy-up" pair up with those gifts, there's really an endless number of things we can do to add to the lives of others. Some people are very dedicated and consistent in this area - I have to admit that I lack motivation most of all. So, I have to work at it. But when I do, the rewards are invaluable.

Happy Valentine's Day! Today I reflect on the Great Love of all....Jesus. He died for you and for me - and he paid the ultimate price with his very own life for us to have life everlasting. What wondrous love is this....

My Dad

2010-01-12T21:43:00.003-06:00

I have an amazing Dad. I do. I am certain that there are many people in the world who would concur, and - sadly, many who can not. I wish every daughter in the world could have a Dad like I do.

My Dad is someone who I have respected and treasured in the depths of my heart since I was the littlest girl. He is so much of what exemplifies a "man" to his most well-rounded qualities. My Dad, of course, embodies a vast array of characteristics and the sheer combination of them - the gifts God gave to him, have pierced my heart in ways that few others have.

Maybe, it is because - as an adult, I am seeing with eyes and a heart that can now look over the years to realize just how much influence my Dad has had in my life. The kicker is....he didn't, or actually - he rarely - influenced me with words. My Dad isn't silent - but my Dad is a man of few words (unless he's giving us directions - Lord help us all....). He isn't someone who will give you 16 opinions on the job you're pursuing or the current state of the nation's hottest political topic. Yes, he has opinions but I've come to know exactly where my Dad stands on major issues by observing over time how he reacts, how he makes choices and more importantly....where he "lands". My dad doesn't pontificate, push his agendas, force his opinion or overtalk a situation. But yet............he is effective!

What my Dad has engrained in me over the past 37 years is more about how to "walk the walk" vs. "talk the talk". It is a powerful thing to do well, in life. I think that many of us might contemplate that thought but when it comes to living our daily lives that way - we get sidetracked because it doesn't get us anywhere "fast"! "Walking the walk" means that we have to be painstakingly patient sometimes. It forces us to establish consistency! Consistency takes TIME. It means that we have to be self-controlled. It means that we lead by example not by our mouths or our feelings or our reactions. It often means that we stifle our immediate desire to speak or act in order to give us time to think through a situation, realize what we have control over and what we don't, pray about it and then...if the Lord prompts us to act...then we can act. It means we stick things out no matter HOW hard they are. My Dad is patient. He is kind. He is compassionate. He is sacrificial. He is humble and He fears the Lord. He is strong. He seeks Truth and he is never an opportunist. He has worked deliberately and hard in his life and leads through faithfulness and loyalty - loyalty to Truth and to the right thing, not to "people" or "agendas".

Never in my life was I confused about whether or not my Dad "meant business" just because he didn't yell or go on and on or get upset with us. He was always firm and controlled and loving beneath it all - and that was enough to help me understand where he stood, where I'd made a mistake or done something wrong or disappointed him, and needed to correct it. My Dad has always respected me, even through my mistakes (and I've made enough of them). He has always loved me through them while still failing to compromise Truth. I have learned how important that is. My parents strive to do the right thing. In all situations. They seek to love others and give to others generously - of their time, their abilities, their finances. They are humble and open to God's leading and they have lived their lives in so much service to others. This is something that has become so clear to me in past years.

As my Dad became a grandpa to two grandsons (a little different than raising two GIRLS), I have watched him delight in them and offer them more of himself in sheer love. He is the consummate combination of strong and gentle. He is a true man. He used to hunt, he used to be a highway patrol for a time, he handled all the "Dad" projects around the house, he changed the oil in the cars and washed and waxed them 'til they shined. He is tall and handsome and he was my personal preference when the time to "rock" before bed came when I was a little girl. (Because his shoulders were broad and his chest the perfect pillow for my head!). In that long list of "strong" characteristics, let me not paint an unbalanced picture. The other side of my strong, capable father is the patient, loving, gentle soul that God placed within him.

He was the one who played for hours on end with us when we were little - with the patience to last through "pick-up-sticks" or some other game for hours. He had the patience to assemble all the Christmas toys (since he, himself is such a kid he was probably more excited than we were Christmas morning!) He was the one who sat at the kitchen table with me while I ate my TV dinner if he and my mom had a "date night". He was the one who would share my bedtime snacktime with me (especially if it was chocolate). He was the one whose feet I danced upon. He was the one who played in the pool with me or watched on the side for hours on vacations when I spent days in the water. He was the one who whistled the songs I would then go play on the piano when I was little. He was the one who played cribbage with me when I was sick. He was the one who packed my lunch for school most mornings and included my "made-to-order" sandwich. He was the one who taught me how to drive and set up the "cones" in the street in front of our house for parallel parking. He was the one who asked me if I needed "another hole in my head" when I got my ear double-pierced w/out their permission. He was the one who sacrificed the warm house to go get Bridgeman's sundae's on Friday movie nights so we could all have "our own". He was the one who watched The Donny & Marie show with me and all the Peanuts specials. He watched The Sound of Music with me every year. He read the ENTIRE Little House on the Prairie collection to me. He was the one who helped with the math homework and who had all the time in the world for us - whatever it was that we needed or wanted. He was the one who would sew the perfect little patches on my favorite dollie, "Emily" when her "stuffing" started to come out at the joints in her arms or legs. I remember crying when she'd have the tiniest sign of "bursting" and plead for him to "fix" her. So, he'd lay her down on the couch like we were performing the most important and detailed of surgeries and he would carefully cut strips of washcloth, t-shirt or towel, and hand-sew her seams all back together with a nice new patch. "Voila - papa to the rescue!". He was the one who sat in the room while they sewed most of my achilles tendon back together "in layers" after an accident and watched the entire thing while I squeezed all the blood out of his hand. Then he had to carry me from the car to the house. He was the one who typed and mailed me letters EVERY week while I was away all summer camp counseling for years (not to mention every week or two while I was away at college). He was the one who knew when I needed money at college and would never in a million year ask for it because I was truly humble about and grateful for everything that my parents already had given me - and I'd be surprised with what I truly needed in the mail. AND I could not have ever guessed, when I started knitting a few years ago, that when I brought my 1st hideous accomplishment to Thanksgiving to work on and was in the kitchen with the "girls" talking about it - my Mom non-chalantly recalled when my Dad taught her to knit years ago....

Unbelievable. No...priceless.

Now, I don't say all these things to downplay my sweet Mamasita, who has her own gifts and beauty all on her own. But, my precious Dad holds a dear and beautiful place in my heart. Because he loves me so much. And it shows. He has shown me, by example, what it means to live an honest life. To not be afraid to be the underdog from the "world's" perspective - because that is not what really matters. He has taught me that you don't have to climb a ladder or sit at the "top" or carry earthly notoriety to make a difference or to matter. He has taught my heart what it means to love someone so deeply it is like a seal upon your heart. He has taught me what it means to have someone leave a part of their very life to you because of how they have sacrificed for you and been there, through everything. Life is not about owning a big house full of "trendy" stuff or the latest luxury car or how much you can travel or check off the list. It's not about your physical appearance or your 6-pack or your circle of friends. It's not about charming people or about human affirmation or accolades. It's not about how you measure up to societies "standards" that makes you worthy of anything - or valuable, for that matter. My father has taught me, as I have watched him live his life, that our worth is grounded solely in living a life for Christ. It is in giving to others and loving others. It is about sacrifice - for family and friends, neighbors and strangers. It is about being "available" to be used by God - even in the most humble of ways. Even in the smallest ways. It isn't about how MUCH you can give (if you have a LOT) but about how MUCH OF yourself you give (even when you think you only have a LITTLE).

God has used my father in incredible ways - to touch lives, to speak to hearts, to be a consistent, steadfast example of a godly man. I remember how much my beautiful, tiny little Gramma (my Mom's mom) adored my dad. She would tell me all the time, "Kristin - you have the most wonderful father!" She would bake him apple pies and she just had nothing but love to shower on him. (Now, that's an awesome thing to have your mother-in-law consistently love you like that! An awesome gift..) I know that he has faults just like any other human being - but that isn't the point. We all have them. But my father never let his define him, and he never lingered on them. I think the reason I can say that is because here I am - as an adult child looking back, and not really recalling them at all. They don't matter. The love I have for him FAR outweighs any of that.

My Dad is not a social bee. He is the most content human being I know. That man can sit on the deck for HOURS....no...not reading the newspaper or a magazine or the business section....he can sit on the deck and just "be". Listen to the birds, take pictures of the garden - and just relax, taking in the beauty of God's creation. He has an amazing eye for photography....and has a collection of photos that many would pay some serious cash for. But his love for photography is rooted in the beauty of nature and of all that God has created. Animals, flowers, nature.

He is an uncomplicated man. Comfortable in his own skin. Happy to "be" and to be grateful and blessed by all that God has given him. No matter how much or little. He loves his family. He is peace-filled and is most uncomfortable with pressure and stress. It doesn't motivate him at all.

But, you know what? He has taught me some of the absolute BEST life lessons. To listen to God and how He is leading, who he made ME to be (not who he made others to be that I somehow need to mimic) and to know what real love means. Faithfulness. Truth. Commitment. Difficulty. Honor. Steadfast obedience. Patience. Peace.

My words really can not serve my Dad justice, and yet I know he would not want accolades. Thing is - he doesn't hear them enough. So.......I need to get to workin on changin that. Tellin him more..and more.

I love you, Dad. You are the apple of my eye....

Digging Out & A Reminder

2010-01-10T19:51:00.002-06:00

It has been wildly cold here! Without a break. I am a firm believer in the fact that a Minnesotan just does not have the right to complain about the weather - we choose to live here (idiots)! But, I still find myself falling prey to the proverbial whining that comes so naturally when it's freezing for days and days and weeks on end. I'm working on it, though.

Finally...news of some warmer temperatures - mmmm. Don't tease us! 30's?? I think it might feel like summer! So - it's time to "dig out". Dig out from underneath all the blankets and time to dig out from the cabin fever!

I was reminded of one of God's huge blessings in my life, today. Funny, sometimes, how these reminders take us by surprise or catch us off guard.

The blessing that I was reminded of, was....my neighbors. When I moved several years ago, I wouldn't say that I was terribly excited about it - seeing as the move wasn't something that I wanted. So, needless to say - I wasn't in a place where my heart overflowed with gratitude. I struggled, I questioned, I just - had to be still and let God work, heal and trust Him. Not always easy but well worth the wait.

When I look back over the past several years - I can now see so many great things God had in store for me while living in this neighborhood. God always has a plan for us - wherever we are. He is always paving the road for us - even when we can not see it. God blessed me and surrounded me with incredible, caring neighbors, which seems like such a small thing - but really - it isn't! When I moved, as the winter months passed and spring brought warmer weather and sunshine and more time outside, I met all the people who live around me and many of them have become wonderful friends and have brought incredible joy to my life.

My neighbors make me laugh, they look out for me, they give me so many reasons to enjoy living where I live right now and when we spend time together or hang out, I am always amazed at how they bring beauty and love into my life.

Maggie lives across from me. She hugs me when she sees me, she happens to work at the same place that my cousin's husband works (small world) - and she is the sweetest little lady. She is close to retirement and she loves to garden. The spring after I moved into my house she split all of her hostas for me and helped to plant them all along my front steps so that they'd grow big in years to come and make things look prettier.

Another couple lives "over the hill" from me and they have become such wonderful friends. One retired, the other still works part time - but their patio is the place to be as soon as the weather is warm enough to sit outside. If you're out on a beautiful spring/summer evening, chances are-you'll hear folks down on Fred & Mary's patio having a glass of wine and chatting about the week, etc. It's always an open invitation. And, Fred grills the best ribs this side of Texas! I have eaten at their table countless times and honestly - I feel so loved and so blessed to share in their lives.

Two of my young neighbors, Aneta and Vika - are incrdibly special to me. They live right behind me, with their Mom, Karen. I can't really describe how thankful I am that God placed them all in my life. The girls make me giggle and they entertain me constantly with their stories, their experiences and their personalities. They hold a special place in my heart. Many a conversation has gone on in the summer on my front steps while Rio and Chufa are running around in the yard. Through long, warm summer walks together or an occasional bonfire night in the yard, or just through dropping in and out - new relationships have formed and I know that these relationships are a tremendous gift.

So, speaking of "digging out" - the thing that reminded me of this blessing of neighbors was the very phone call that I had, this morning, with Aneta and Vika. None of us see much of one another during the winter months - everyone is tucked away inside hibernating. I laugh when I think about how I often just find myself connecting with Fred "over the hill" through some evening shout-outs when I get home from work and let the dogs outside. Fred is on the deck and we say our evening "HEY..... can't wait for summer!" and head inside. Reconnecting with the girls, this morning, reminded of me of how much we all do miss one another throughout the cold months. Everyone gets busy with work and school and routine and whatnot. But it doesn't mean we are not thinking of one another.

Today, I am thankful for that phone call - to reconnect and to be reminded that I am blessed to live, surrounded by people who care so much for me and for whom I also care for! That doesn't happen everywhere. God is in all things - great and small. Well worth smiling over.

Here's to great relationships in neighbors and to a summer ahead filled with more fun, new surprises and opportunities to get together with one another.

"Look out, Aneta and Vika - pretty soon I'll be draggin you on some 6 mile walks 'til you drop!" xoxo

The Love of God

2009-12-24T18:07:00.002-06:00

It's Christmas Eve! One of my favorite nights of the entire year. One that brings back memories of all shapes and sizes. There have been many Christmas Eve's full of family gatherings and tradition and in recent years, quieter nights - family traditions change and morph. This year is not so traditional, but it is okay. It is about so much more than "tradition."

So, with a quiet evening this year as I get over the cold-of-the-century that has dragged on and on (so sorry for everyone else who has had to combat the same thing!) and snuggle into a snowy, picture-perfect winter' night, I reflect on what a magical night this is - the eve of Jesus' birth. I am remembering just how much He loves us and as Christmas music plays and the lights on the tree twinkle, I rest in The Love of God. The Son of God...born on Christmas Day.

"The Love of God"

~Mercy Me

The love of God is greater far

Than tongue or pen can ever tell

It goes beyond the highest star

And reaches to the lowest hell

The guilty pair, bowed down with care

God gave His Son to win

His erring child He reconciled

And pardoned from his sin

Could we with ink the ocean fill

And were the skies of parchment made

Were evry stalk on earth a quill

And every man a scribe by trde

To write the love of God above

Would drain the ocean dry

Nor could the scroll contain the whole

Though stretched from sky to sky

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

O love of God, how rich and pure!

How measureless and strong!

It shall forevermore endure

The saints' and angels' song

Praying the light of our Savior's birth will shine ever so brightly in every heart this year.

In All Things

2009-12-19T18:40:00.002-06:00

Okay. It's a week before Christmas. Less than a week. I thought I'd escape it this year..so close..SO CLOSE. But no. Here I am. House-bound. Pyjama-bound. S I C K. Noooooooooooooooooo.

Yes.

ARgh. Ah well. Who can complain? I've held out far longer than many. I think my last cold was last winter, so I stifle my "boo-hoo-neediness" to find other ways to pass the time when I'm not sleeping or engrossed in some Christmas movie.

Being sick reminds me of the way my Mom always took care of us when we were not feeling well. In the Mader household, if you're ill - look out. You might even want to 'milk' it for a few extra days because the pamperin is 'a comin! Yes, indeed. Both my parents know how to take care of sick people, man. What's hilarious is - their blessed remedies and comforting gestures are so engrained that I now even do them myself. FOR MYSELF. (Hmmm...what's wrong with this picture???) It's a scary thing when you're taught how to pamper people when they're not feeling well because sometimes, you just hope you get the chance to shower some of that love on someone who's under the weather and in need of such sympathy! ;-)

So, this weekend, I am busting out all the stops. Mader-style. First, in illness-related boredom and ultimate congestion, one MUST own the Vicks VapoRub.

Duh! AND, wear a hat, for gosh-sakes. It keeps the heat in and helps you sweat everything out.

Next comes the "list of characters" that sit on my countertop ("Pioneer Woman" style) just like they used to be on the countertop at my parent's house when I was little...

That would be, in no particular order: lemons, lemon juice, tea, honey, water (room temperature...ice water only perpetuates a cough and makes the body work all that much harder to warm it up in the body). The lemons and honey make the "potion", which is what we all used to call it. I was not a fan growing up, but the mugs would keep coming and coming. If you were not drinking it, you were in the bathroom because as soon as your glass was down to 1/4 - another one was on the way. You GO, Mom! Oh, the flowery cup and saucer - that's for the sick person! It's the cup I always use when I'm blue or under the weather. One needs these things! To feeeeeel better! (Ask poor Bob - I don't think I could ever persuade him to use the flowery cup when he was sick...but I TRIED, darn it!) The big 'ol pot on the stove is for steaming water - that goes with the extra towels that hang out in the kitchen for the duration...

One must keep their own "sick" towel separate - forr the over-the-head when you're standing over the stove (carefully!) and the steaming pot of water breathing in, creating your own decongestant. (Ugh! Nasty!)

Upon steaming and grabbing some hot beverage ('said "potion") to trapse back to bed with, I get my mind set on some good book to read, if I'm all "movied out"....

....and I crawl back into bed. TODAY, its "Silent Tears". Lent by sweet Lisa - OH, an uplifting book for SURE. (NOT!) About Chinese orphanages and a woman who spent 18 months there with her family (husband's work sent them) and volunteered at these orphanages which are ravaged with illness and abandonment and full of strict, cold women who treat these children like "things" not infants or humans beings. Ugh. Brutal. When Lisa said she cried as she read, that is an understatement. What a sobering book. But, I like these things sometimes. They are an intense reminder and conjur up reflection and an awareness of things that are really going on in our world that need to break our hearts for those things that break God's heart. So, it's okay.

As I get back into the bedroom I am beckoned by the fearless, faithful Rio who just rides it all out with me. That-a-boy. He sees no reason to buck against some big-time cuddling and extra 'zzzz's'.

On another note, there IS a small downside to being sick while a dog owner. Yes....while one is perfectly content to hang.. another is undoubtedly bored and incessantly guilts you by parking it at the front door to let you know he wants "out".....again. And AGAIN. ("For gosh SAKES, woman!! Get OUT of BED and DO something with me! I've HAD it!") I think that is about how it would go....

Yeah, yeah. I know. Sorry Chufa! Pull up those big boy pants and man up. Just be glad that you're not chained to the kitchen making the biggest vat of chicken noodle soup this side of Little House on the Prairie. I feel for ya, little man of mine...I do. But please.

When things get really brutal and the walls feel like they're closing in, I remember a certain, beautiful, blessedly consistent thing about the Martha Steward genes I somehow mysteriouisly inherited. Definitely from some distant relative - if I ever find out whom, it'll be a miracle. Well, if you're in this house, there is typically a big bag full of various frozen homemade cookie dough balls ready for 'whatever'.....a "thank you" to a kind neighbor - maybe who's lent me something, parents who drop by for card night and love snacks, neighbor kids who are in and out from playing - a hodge podge of reasons. Mostly cuz it's FUN. Anyhow, I trudge to the kitchen and turn on the toaster oven to heat up a few chocolate chip cookies to go with my chest cold and lighten my otherwise blue and melancholy mood. Mmm. One's hips just don't care when you're sick. Bring it.

And, for heaven's sakes - put 'em on a little heart shaped plate! You deserve it. (cough...cough!) A little more cheese with my whine? Yes, please. ;-) Mom? Mom??? Is that you pulling up in the driveway to take caaaare of meee??? Huh???? Oh.......no. Just the neighbor. DANG.

So, there it is. A day in the life of "sick" Kristin. Sorry. It was a great way to spend the day and try to forget how cruddy I feel. When I am better I know for sure that I'm going to seek out whatever techy-freak friends I have who encouraged this "blogging". What am I DOING?

Well, whatever it is, I promise (even to myself) to throw in something light and silly, like this - once in a while when the Spirit moves. I believe God LOVES laughter and cheerfulness and I am ALL about being crazy and silly most of the time. Life is TOO short.

"When times are good, be happy but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other..."-Ecclesiastes 7:14

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." - Proverbs 15:13

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

My "potion" is gone.....must make more.

.

J O Y

2009-12-18T10:35:00.004-06:00

Christmas tree lights mesmerize me. Each year, I find I am drawn more and more to some quiet time during evenings at home, listening to music and reading in front of the tree or cooking/baking and listening to Christmas music with the lights of the tree in the background.

It's like candles. The glow of the tree is comforting to me. It brings joy. It makes me smile on a wintery, freezing weekday morning when I wake up to the smell of French Roast brewing and stumble sleepily into the kitchen while turning on the tree to see it's pretty illumination. Just enough light - not too much. Mmm.

It brings back childhood memories of Christmas which was such a fun celebration with my family. My dad absolutely loves Christmas. I know he does. I remember years when he was awake on Christmas morning and downstairs nearly as early as I was - waiting for the rest of the family to come downstairs to begin opening gifts, eating leftover Christmas cookies with tea or hot chocolate - the traditions that stick with me even now.

My parents hosted Christmas Eve for my mom's side of the family my entire childhood. I remember a house-FULL of aunts, uncles, cousins - appetizers galore, cider, conversations, playing games, traditional food, smiles, hugs, and SINGING - my Mom on the piano and my Gram with her beaming eyes singing 'O Christmas Tree' in German while she enjoyed having her entire family around her (7 kids and their families). It was an extravaganza for me! Then, we'd shoo everyone out around 9:30/10:00ish, maybe, to go to the candlelight service at church. We'd come home as a family and cuddle up on the living room couches with blankets and maybe hot cider and watch the tree lights and light a beautiful little candle that had 4 small candles on the base that, when you lit them all, caused the heat from the candles to turn a the top fan around and little brass angels would fly 'round in a circle and sound off in little chimes. (Not in an annoying, loud way - but in this tiny little beautiful way).

Even though things have changed - I still continue to keep our family traditions. I am so grateful for my parents and the way they helped to create, for us, such meaningful memories. Thankful that they instilled in us Christ's love.

As I sit in my own house and gaze at the candles and the tree and reflect upon Jesus' birth, I am thankful that He came - as a baby....to earth. I'm so thankful that the manger came to earth. What if it had not? Our sermon at church was on this very subject last Sunday. How would our lives be different had the manger not come?? This precious little baby came to earth to save us all! To save the world!

Hard to understand how a simple"tree" of such material worth and purpose could conjure up such meaning within our souls. But, it can. It does. Those symbols of Christmas that we have in the world are all reminders of the most precious gift we have....Jesus!

This weekend, as I bake and make cards and busy myself with many of those things that help to usher in Christmas celebrating....I remember J O Y. The joy grounded in my heart that is there because of Him. He pours it in. Even when things are difficult. Especially when things are difficult. What a blessed treasure. Through simple faith - joy is born.

Rest in Me

2009-12-17T21:30:00.004-06:00

Rest in Me, My Child, forgetting about the worries of the world. Focus on Me - Emmanuel - and let My living Presence envelop you in Peace. Tune into My eternal security, for I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. If you live on the surface of life by focusing on ever changing phenomena, you will find yourself echoing the words of Solomon: "Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"

Living in collaboration with Me is the way to instill meaning into your days. Begin each day alone with Me, so that you can experience the reality of My Presence. As you spend time with Me, the way before you opens up step by step. Arise from the stillness of our communion, and gradually begin your journey through the day. Hold My hand in deliberate dependence on Me, and I will smooth out the path before you.

Hebrews 13:8; Ecclesiastes 1:2; Proverbs 3:6

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What a tough week. Seriously. As Christians, we know that we face both mountaintop and valley experiences. Such is life. We come to understand and expect difficulty - the closer we draw to Christ, the harder it often becomes. This past week was definitely a reminder of this reality. The hits just kept coming.

A dear friend of mine gave me a new daily devotional, from which I took the above passage. Her heartfelt gift was given out of love and tenderness to a friend struggling and searching for strength to understand, strength to believe in spite of impossible circumstances, strength to have faith larger than the towering mountain overhead. What a beautiful gesture and my heart basks in gratitude. Not just for the gift. No.....mostly for incredible friends. Beautiful women that God has placed in my path and in my life over the past four-plus years. These women are real and they are one of my most prized treasures on earth. I don't think I ever really understood what it meant to have real, godly friends. I never had any! I had nice friends, good friends.....it isn't that they were bad. However, the group of friends that entered my life 4 years ago have grown me in Spirit, not just on earth. They support, they encourage, they pray. They walk in faith. They face unbelievable challenges in their own lives and yet, to watch as they seek the Lord in all things, to realize that He is their lifeline and to be a part of that connection and involved in the relationships is really priceless. It continues to teach me about grace, about unconditional love, it covers me, it blesses me and it keeps me accountable to God alone.

When the mountaintop experiences arrive - which they do.. (albeit sometimes short-lived)...they rejoice! Yet, when the deep, deep valleys come....they are there. They don't leave. They don't abandon. They remain. Their steadfast prayers remain. The comfort of their voices or just their presence. The sacrifice of time they extend, their prayers, their love - I can feel them in the darkest of nights. And they are there until I get it together and finally pull up my boot straps. What a gift God gives.

I've learned that, spiritually, we need to learn not to give the enemy any more of our time in the valley than we can possibly manage. (Thank the Lord, that time gets less and less the more God stretches and empowers us!) Get right back up and giddy-up. God is bigger. He just IS. The great I AM. He is the God of the impossible. With Him, alone, we have victory - and seeking His ways brings true peace and freedom in ALL circumstances. No matter how discouraging they can seem.

We're all human. Myself included. And there are circumstances that come crashing into my world sometimes that crush me in my weakness. Maybe not often, but when they do....they hit. We all know those things pertinent to our individual lives/situations.

Well, maybe today - while I'm reflecting upon the last week and all that has happened....I am just especially thankful for all of my close friends. Those who know my heart to the core. Those who I can be real with and with whom I can be vulnerable and exposed. Those who love me no less. I am grateful. It is often because of their strength and hope and spiritual maturity that I am reminded of all of God's promises so much more quickly than if they weren't here. They point me back to The Father. Every time. Remind me to hold fast to truth and to His plan and His ways.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other."

~John 15:13-17

Cherishing Life & The Gift of People

2009-12-01T19:38:00.005-06:00

Last week delivered some very tough news. Shocking news, unexpected news. Heartbreaking news - and moreso for a very good friend of mine.

Our former CIO at work, who left several years ago, died suddenly while he was working in CA. He was 53 years old. He leaves behind a beautiful wife, two daughters and 4 grandchildren.

What's interesting is that I am just truly learning, now, what an amazing man he was - to friends, to family, to coworkers, to staff. I wasn't fortunate enough to work a great deal with him while he was at Thrivent, but I knew he was a driven, focused "go-getter" who got things done with impeccable integrity and respect.

Most of what I know is through my dear friend, Kristen. He mentored her during a large part of her career and he and his family were precious to her. I had a great opportunity to sit with him and his wife at Kristen's dad's retirement party several years ago. They flew in, of course, from Texas where they lived. I was able to see a side of him that included a warm, inviting, funny, inquisitive character. I was blessed that evening. Sometimes when you see executives operating on such high levels you don't ever have the chance to see the "real" person underneath it all. That's the thing, though - I am beginning to understand that there wasn't a lot of "underneath it all" to Larry. It was all there. All the time. On the surface. He didn't hide behind a facade and then act like himself outside of the corporate world. He wasn't a corporate "game player". He wasn't your stereotypical executive. Yes, he had a tireless drive for excellence, but he wasn't phony. He walked the walk. He was really an incredible man who loved his family dearly and who invested his time and energy giving. He had a servant's heart. He loved people and if you were fortunate enough to work for him, you weren't just "another employee". He took time for his employees. He mentored them and invested in them. He taught them much about hard work and along with it - cherishing your blessings.

Today, I was given a link sharing a CaringBridge Guestbook for him, pulled together by family. I nearly wept at my desk reading just a handful of the entries posted by friends, peers....it was a window into how this man lived. It was beautiful. Stories of how he often showed up at the hospital for former employees whose family members were going through difficult circumstances.....stories of what a man of faith he was and how he walked that out in countless ways every single day. He wanted to know his "people"! He cared very much about them and understood that God has each of us on a journey and that it is filled with mountaintops and valleys and curves in the road - yet still - it is all a part of the big picture. So, he relished life and yet had his perspective clear regarding what this life is about. Whom we serve. He was vested in helping people whether it be staff or strangers - and when he got a hold of others' potential, there was nothing that could stop him from doing whatever he could to open doors of opportunity, possibility for them. What an example. What a model.

Today, I was blessed to see the love in Larry's life - regardless of the fact that I obtained more of that knowledge by reading about it rather than witnessing it. Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed enough to have it firsthand - I just didn't interface with him much. But, the way I look at it - God has blessed me by sharing it now. I am better for knowing who Larry was on this earth. For the joy I can have in my heart knowing that He is in the presence of the Father.

My human heart says, "But.....this amazing man had more to give! He had more work to do on this earth - why so young? Why so soon? Why so suddenly?" My spirit reminds me....those are questions that will remain unanswered until one day. The day we are reunited in heaven. Then, we will have so many of our unanswered questions answered. And our eyes will be opened to God's beautiful plan. Our earthly hurts and pains and struggles will remain - on earth. But, not in heaven.

Tonight, my thoughts and prayers are with Larry's wife, his girls, his grandbabies....their entire family and friends. They are with sweet Kristen. Knowing that they are facing a big day tomorrow. The day they say their earthly "goodbye's" to a precious man - a devoted husband, father, son, grandpa, a man of God. I give glory to God for his life and for all the many, many people who were so deeply touched and blessed by his life, love and light. What a gift.

I know that countless people die, each and every day. People lose precious loved ones every day. As I write, I don't mean to necessarily call out a mortal man above all others - but I also think that a life lived like Larry's - with such light radiating from it - is an example to us all. It reminds us, as Christians, how we impact others in this world for God - in ways we wil often never even realize. I write, also, because my heart is touched. Simple faith - faith in blessings that come from God - even in death. As hard as that can be.

I close by sharing a few of the entries from Larry's CaringBridge site. The first that struck me - from a man who worked at the hotel in CA that Larry always stayed at while working (he worked in CA, lived in TX). The second from his executive assistant while he worked at Thrivent. Just a tiny smattering of love poured out on paper.

Sunday, November 29, 2009 10:32 PM, CST

Hello,

First of all let me please just start off by saying how sorry i am for your loss. My name is Dominic and i worked at the Hilton Garden Inn in Foothill Ranch where Mr. Robbins stayed quite often. I wanted to share a story with you (his family) about something he had said to me the morning he left our hotel, and turns out the day he passed away, to go home to you for thanksgiving. He would often leave some of his shirts here and pick them up the following week, and i asked him when he would be returning to collect his things. He told me he wouldn't be back until the week after thanksgiving. So naturally i assumed he was going to be going home, and Mr. Robbins never really spoke much when he was here, but that day was different, because as i was about to walk his things back he stopped me and said, I am going home to be with my family and let me tell you i cannot wait to get there. I have an amazing family and its something about this time of year that really makes me appreciate them more. I just really thought that was incredible and i wanted to share that with all of you. He seemed like such a gentle and kind man and one that anyone could have easily warmed up to. Even though i met him a handful of times, i will never forget him. I am so sorry for your loss and i can assure with 100% certainty, that he will be missed by all of us here at the Hilton in Foothill Ranch.

Dominic Barnes
CA
United States

Monday, November 23, 2009 7:54 PM, CST

The story begins with a late Friday evening interview with Larry. The memory remains clear - he glanced at my resume, asked a few questions, then leaned back in his chair. With a confident slight smile he said, "Tell me about your family." The ensuing dialogue was abundant with knowing nods and sharing stories. After a good length of time, I then met with his executive liaison, Kristen W (who spells her name correctly!). As I drove home that evening, I called my parents in Florida and told them I had met the most extraordinary individuals.

A man of integrity, vision, high standards ... a man who asked the questions that few knew how to ask; a soldier in so many respects - who grew battle weary at times, and yet, readily accepted the cost of pressing forward.

A man who loved his family and would share photographs and stories. When I think of Larry, I think of Kimberly. It was always "Larry and Kimberly" for me.

When I accepted Larry's job offer, I soon received a fantastically huge bouquet of flowers at my office. I kept the card... it read "Life is a journey - full of endings and beginnings. May both be a blessing to you."

When my husband was rushed to the emergency room and I needed to leave work and wait for news in the hospital waiting room, Larry was there within 1 hour - making sure Bruce and I were going to be okay.

That's vintage Larry. His legacy has meaning and holds eternal value.

God speed, Larry. Kimberly and family - we hold you with open hands to the Father - who will never let go.

Kristen Ballum
Excelsior, MN

~Lord Jesus - thank you for the blessing of Larry's life. Larry - thank you for who you were on earth and for what you gave - so freely - to so many. You were a leader. Many who assume that position never become a true leader. We earn leadership. Godly leadership. It is about others, not us, and from what I read today - you earned it.